My Last Two Months in Saudi Arabia

News, news and more news...

I've been debating about how--or even whether--to write this post, but now that everything is official, I suppose that now is as good a time as any to share some bittersweet news. My sister suggested I entitle this post "after a long visit to Saudi Land, I'm coming back" but that doesn't quite fit my more serious tone (thanks for the suggestion, though, sis!).

Breaking News!!

(Source: http://myersmedia.co.uk/2013/news-who-cares/)

The first piece of news (that you've probably guessed by now) is that I'm moving back to Canada (Toronto, specifically) in a month and a half. This is bittersweet because DH is staying in Jeddah for another year, so it will be back to long distance love for us. I'll probably get to come back to visit him over the Christmas break...which means six months before I see him after I leave for Toronto in July. I'm obviously torn up about this, so why, you ask, have I decided to move back to Canada without him? Why don't I stay in Saudi with him?

A mosque in Jeddah

Why, why why?

Is it so unbearable in Saudi Arabia that I just HAVE to get out of here?? Is wearing an abaya and headscarf too stifling hot that I've decided to call it quits? Is it THAT terrible being a ‘suppressed’ and subjugated woman out here in the desert? Is not being able to drive making me mad? Well, the last point is probably 75% accurate, but the women I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, teaching and working with have shown me time and again that there’s no more oppression of women here than there is in many other parts of the world (at least among the women that I know. This, admittedly, is a somewhat selective demographic). As for the abaya, I've become very accustomed to the covering up in black part of life here, and, in fact, I quite enjoy the freedom of leaving the house without worrying what I'm wearing under my abaya (although this isn't the case when I'm going to work because, of course, in an all-female workplace, I take off my abaya and wear professional attire).

An abaya and hijab: not as hot as they look!(Source: http://abayasbyakhawat.com/muslim-dress-raso-black-satin-cuffed-butterfly-abaya-shayla)

So if it's not life here, then why am I up and leaving DH? Well, back in the fall, if you recall from here: http://pinkjeddahsunset.blogspot.com/2012/12/one-year-in-saudi.html, I was applying for my PhD in Canada. I applied to a number of schools and found out this past February that I was accepted everywhere, including at the University of Toronto, where I was absolutely positively sure I wouldn't be accepted (it has the BEST English Department in the country for my field, early modern drama). Accordingly, after MUCH deliberation, negotiation of funding packages, and stress about leaving my husband and amazing job here in Jeddah, I decided that I simply couldn't turn down a five year, fully funded PhD in English at the University of Toronto. I decided that it's now or never!

Back to Graduate School!

So I will be leaving DH in the hot sandy desert in early July to spend some time with my family before moving back to Toronto in August. I've found a great place to live (in my old apartment building in the vibrant Annex neighbourhood where I lived while doing my BA). The location is perfect--literally across the road from campus, and a 5 minute walk to the English Department building.

The Jackman Humanities Building (where the Department of English is housed).

(Source: http://www.flickriver.com/groups/universityoftoronto/pool/)

It's exciting to be going back to school, especially since being in Saudi Arabia has opened up a lot of doors for me in terms of helping me have a clearer focus for my dissertation. I'm thrilled that I have the opportunity to embark on a research project that energizes and inspires me. Living in Saudi Arabia has given me insight, knowledge, and personal experience about what it's like to be a woman in a place that is literally a different world. I have been fortunate to have met people from so many diverse walks of life, religious beliefs, life experiences, and ways of thinking, and this has definitely challenged and influenced the way I myself think! I'm looking forward to applying my unique intercultural experience to my work back in graduate school.

The University of Toronto

(Source: http://urbantoronto.ca/forum/showthread.php/6947-Miscellany-Toronto-Photographs-Then-and-Now/page246)

Goodbye's the Saddest Word

I'm quoting a Celine Dion song with this subtitle, I couldn't resist (video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I3TxyYDcSw), but, really, I can't stand goodbyes! I prefer "see you soon" and "talk to you on skype" to the more somber "goodbye." Of course, my family is happy I'm moving back to Canada, but I am so sad to be leaving DH and my wonderful, amazing colleagues and students at the college here in Jeddah. Really, teaching here has taught me so much, and though it's non-stop, busy and stressful at times (well, I shouldn't lie--most of the time!), I love it and am passionate about teaching at the post-secondary level. My colleagues have become close friends, and it saddens me to leave. So I'm instead saying "see you soon" because once I finish my PhD, DH and I would consider coming back to Saudi Arabia. Who knows, though, what the future will bring? It's full of exciting possibilities, though for now, we have to be apart and follow our own educational and career paths.

*******************************

Meeting the Parents!

On a completely unrelated note, a few weeks ago I finally--for the first time--got to meet DH's parents! They came to visit us from Bangladesh for three weeks. We were still working our hectic schedules during their visit, and since it was "term time" I was swamped with marking final papers and preparing final exams, but we made the most of their three weeks in Saudi Arabia. We met them at the airport a few Wednesdays ago after work (the equivalent of Friday night in the Western world since our weekends are Thursday and Friday). That evening they made the one hour drive to Makkah, and the next day we joined them there and stayed the night. They went for Umrah (a small pilgrimage) on Wednesday, and then we spent Thursday and Friday together. Since they weren't able to come to our wedding because it was in Canada, they gave me some beautiful bridal jewelry as a belated wedding gift. In addition, DH's two sisters gave me some beautiful Bangladeshi saris. I now need to find an Indian friend who is getting married so I can have occasion to wear these beautiful clothes!!!

Jeddah Airport Arrivals

The next weekend, we met DH's parents in Madinah, which is about 4 and a half hours north west of Jeddah. We hired a driver so that DH didn't have to handle that long drive all by himself (since I'm not allowed to drive here!) It was a long trip in the middle of the night, but well worth the drive! Madinah is the city where the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) died, and his grave is in what is known as "The Prophet's Mosque." Our time in Madinah was relaxing and breathtaking.

The Prophet's Mosque, Madinah, Saudi Arabia

Madinah, Saudi Arabia

Madinah, Saudi Arabia

A Mosque in Madinah

A Mosque in Madinah

Outside the Prophet's Mosque

After the weekend there, DH and I, along with his parents, came back to Jeddah. We had to work on Saturday (i.e. Monday), and his mom greeted us each evening with delicious home-cooked Bangladeshi food. Mmm! Chicken curries, rice (lots and lots of rice), and so many yummy treats! I wish I had time to cook such wonderful meals, but, alas, work is always beckoning.

Highway landscape between Madinah and Jeddah

The long drive back to Jeddah.

All in all, it was a wonderful visit, and I'm so glad that I finally got the chance to meet DH's wonderful parents. If it wasn't so expensive, we would love to plan a trip to Bangladesh ourselves to meet his whole family (he has two sisters and each has two children. Yep! I'm a proud aunt!)

Finishing Up the Semester

After DH's parents left, this past week was super busy with final exams, marking, and working on the tedious task of compiling course files for each course I taught this past term. Thankfully, I finished almost everything and got my exams and final grades in by the deadline.

This weekend is the calm before another storm; on Saturday, the summer semester begins and I`ll be teaching my final two courses before moving back to Canada in July. Most of my colleagues will be traveling after the next week or two, so it will be sad to part. The college will feel much emptier without all of them during my last semester here.

Speaking of my colleagues, they really are so wonderful. Last weekend, they threw me a surprise going-away lunch and gave me a heartfelt card and a beautiful Coach bag! I am so blessed to have met and worked with such wonderful, kind, generous ladies over the past two years. I will definitely stop in to visit them all when I`m here in December!!!

My new Coach bag--it even matches my BLOG!

Thank you, colleagues!!!

Until next time...

I suppose that`s all my news for now. As usual, I`ve taken awhile between posts, but I end up overcompensating with lengthy pieces! I guess that`s just my blogging style!

The next month will be filled, I`m sure, with lots of commotion at work, and with packing and preparing for my big move back to Canada. I was invited to one of my students`weddings that will take place in a couple of weeks, so if I make it out to that, I will definitely dedicate a post to my experience of a Saudi wedding!! If I go, I will have to get very dressed up (hair, make-up, ballgown)--probably even more than I did for my own wedding!!!

Anyways, hope that you, my dear readers, are all well...and if you`re one of my Toronto friends reading, SEE YOU SOON!!!!

Asalam alakium!

Julie xoxo

PS I hope you`ll consider voting in the POLL I've posted in the top right hand corner of the page! :)

Off to Al-Balad, the Historic Old Jeddah

Hello everyone! To my non-Saudi resident readers, I hope you're keeping warm with the late arrival of spring this year! Here in Jeddah, things are warming up (if you could say they ever "cooled down"!) and it's around 35 degrees Celsius most days. DH and I are just finishing up our week-long spring break, and I thought I'd share some of what we've been up to!

A Look Back in History
This entry will be a bit of a shift from talking about my day-to-day cultural experiences here in Jeddah, to more of a little tour of a place I've wanted to go since DH moved here over four years ago: Al-Balad. Al-Balad is the historic part of Jeddah and has famous landmarks that are more than 150 years old.

Background about Jeddah
Jeddah is a busy port city on the eastern coast of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. It is the gateway for pilgrims who come from all around to the world to make the pilgrimage to Mecca. As a port city, Jeddah is very diverse and multi-cultural. Many Indians, Egyptians, Syrians, Yeminis, and people of countless other backgrounds have settled here over the course of many generations.

For centuries--even before Saudi Arabia became a unified nation in c. 1925--Jeddah was a bustling place. Jeddah literally means "grandmother," and many claim that the Biblical Eve is buried here. Here's a photo of "Eve's Tomb" in the center of Old Jeddah. It no longer stands as it appears in the photo below. In 1975, authorities sealed the tomb with concrete after people were found praying at the tomb  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeddah). This is obviously not acceptable Islamic practice.

Eve's Tomb, 1913, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Eves-tomb-the-story-of-a-pilgrimage-to-hijaz.png 

Al-Balad
Al-Balad, literally, "The City," is in the center of Old Jeddah. It contains lots of souks (outdoor shopping areas), old buildings, and lots of beautiful historical sights. Yesterday, DH and I took a walk around Al-Balad, and were pleasantly surprised at the beautiful old architecture, and colourful displays in the market.

Entering Al-Balad. You can see the old architecture in the background.

Old buildings and shops in Al-Balad.

Naseef House is where the first King of Saudi Arabia, King Abdulaziz, was said to reside on his first visit to Jeddah. When we were here yesterday, the house was closed for cleaning, but even from the outside the beautiful history of the building is apparent.

Inside the house, there are 106 rooms that contain books, Arabic calligraphy, and artwork. 

The famous 150-year-old Al-Naseef House.

An Arabic sign outside Naseef House bearing the name of the building:

Naseef House

There is a large old tree outside Naseef House that is thought to be one of the first trees in Jeddah. "People used to recognize Naseef House as "The House with the Tree" because it was the only house in Balad that had one. Obviously, growing a tree was not an easy task because of the scarcity of water" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasseef_House). 

The tree outside Naseef House. It's said to be the first and oldest tree in Jeddah!

Beautiful architecture in Old Jeddah. 

Another (smaller) tree in the courtyard outside Naseef House.

 A trip to Balad wouldn't be complete without checking out some shops! DH bought a little camel souvenir, and we tried on various Ouds (rich Arabic fragrances), and purchased some nuts and spices. Here are some of our shopping pictures:

Buying some spices and nuts in Balad. 

A perfume / oud shop

Checking out some bakhoor (Arabic incense).

A bookshop.

We went to the souk at a rather quite time in the early afternoon. In the evening after Maghrib prayer (sunset), I'm told it gets VERY busy!!

Some beautiful, shiny ornaments and souvenirs. DH bought one of the camels in the left corner.

Outside the shop.

An old moqsue in Al-Balad. 

Lots of oud (Arabic perfume oils) and scents!

Leaving the Old Town. A roundabout filled with outdoor art.

Back to the Future!

“Never be afraid to trust 
an unknown future to a known God.”

What wise words Corrie Ten Boom, a Dutch Christian who helped Jews escape the Nazi Holocaust during the Second World War, spoke! If only I could be so brave in stepping forward in my own life.

Life As We Know It 

Since I last wrote in December, a lot has happened. As usual, I’ve been keeping busy with work, extra-curricular activities (very FUN and exciting ones that I’ll mention later!!), housework, a trip to Toronto to visit my family last month, and trying to make a big decision.

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

I can be a decisive person when I’m very, very sure of myself. Other times, I fall victim to just letting life happen to me. I know that’s not the best approach to life; successful people grab life by the horns, know exactly where they’re going, and take control. They make it happen! In certain situations, I’m certainly like this. Not all decisions or paths are so black and white, though. This is especially the case once you are married and want a family! A given decision suddenly affects so many people.

Stepping into the Unknown

See, the “big decision” I’m trying to make is one that I don’t feel I am—or DH is—completely informed about. Back in October, I applied for my PhD in English. In Canada. I was accepted to a superb program back in 2011 immediately after my master’s, but turned the offer—and an excellent funding award—to move to Saudi Arabia. I know I made the right decision in making the move, but at the time, I kind of just “went with the flow” since DH was already here, and I wanted to pay off my undergraduate student loan.

PhD?

Now that that goal is nearly achieved—alhamdulillah!! (Arabic for “praise God”)—DH and I are trying to regroup and plot out the next step. Stay here or move home? Find work in Canada, or return to graduate school (both of us? one of us?) Try to have a baby soon, or wait until things are more settled? So many questions!!! It`s stressful, unsettling, and making both DH and I lose so much sleep!

Trusting in God

I’ve been trying to continually remind myself of Corrie Ten Boom’s words above...that I need to trust God. The future is uncertain, but God’s plans are already perfectly planned. I’m constantly praying about what`s best for me, for DH and I, for our future. We were in Mecca last weekend and I prayed that God would guide me to the best thing. Immediately after I finished this prayer—I kid you not—my phone beeped and I received my first offer of admission for my PhD in Canada. It seems so clear: DO MY PHD!!!! But what if that means DH doesn’t have a job in the city I move to? What if I am in London, ON, and he finds a job in Toronto? That’s a three hour drive...too long for either of us to commute every single day!

Mecca

If I don’t accept one of the offers for the PhD and DH gets a job in one of the cities I’ve been offered admission, I will never be able to get over it!!! I have a tight time frame: I think I can stretch deadlines for my decision until the end of March, but likely not beyond that.

Also, re-entering academia most likely means putting plans for a family on hold—at least for another year or two. We can definitely deal with this, but it would be a sacrifice. Would I be able to be a good mother in the face of such a demanding program and an equally—if not more—demanding future career?

Mecca during the Friday prayer, mashallah!

Back to the Present 

For now, I have to sit and wait and see what happens next (and no, I’m NOT being indecisive; I want to be informed!) I want to more thoroughly research the schools to which I’ve been accepted and check out maternity benefits (if any!) and what options I would potentially have for maternity leave. After all, William and Kate are expecting their first baby this summer, and DH and I were married only a few months after them. We have to get on it! Lol

Embracing the Present

I suppose this entry, after all this time, hasn’t really been about things related to life in Saudi Arabia, but it does demonstrate the struggle that expatriates here—or in any foreign country—face when trying to plan the future. It’s not easy to uproot one’s entire life for an amazing opportunity, have a great, tax-free salary, benefits, job stability, and a comfortable life, and then contemplate moving back to an economically-unstable home. We want stability, careers, and something certain to which we can return! But alas, for this moment, we have to keep trusting in God’s plans. When we have such an uncertain future, we can find solace in a certain God! Alhamdulillah!

Next Time: Production News!

Last but not least, I’m now thrilled to give a little “sneak peek” into my next post: I’ll be writing about my current production of Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew. I am co-directing this play with a colleague and a wonderful, energetic group of university students here at my university in Jeddah.

The Taming of the Shrew

Stay posted on details about how we casted the play (all girls!), how rehearsals have been going, and details about the upcoming performance date! So excited to share this up and coming project with you all!

Until then,

Ma-salam!

One Year In Saudi!

How time flies...

Assalamu alaikum, everyone!

I just realized that I’ve now been in Saudi Arabia for an entire year! Wow! I flew into Jeddah last year on December 17th, and can’t believe a year has already passed since I was reunited with DH (see two blog entries from when I first arrived here: http://pinkjeddahsunset.blogspot.com/2011/12/lucky-day-71.html and here: http://pinkjeddahsunset.blogspot.com/2012/01/cultural-lessons-modesty-speech-and.html). after over two years of a long-distance engagement, and started a new life here. The past year has been full of adjustments being newly married, in a new country, starting a new job, meeting new friends, etc, etc, but alhamdulillah (“praise God” in Arabic) it’s been an amazing experience and I definitely don’t regret moving here.

There were times—especially in the second six months in Jeddah—that were particularly challenging. Once the ‘newness’ of everything wore off and reality set in, I started to feel the frustration of not being able to drive, the stress of work, and anxiety about starting to repay my huge student loan (in Ontario, Canada, the government gives students a six month grace period after the completion of studies before they have to commence loan repayment...) All of these factors were often overwhelming.

Back to the future...

These days, I’ve been keeping so busy that I haven’t had time to think about “oh, I can’t drive” or “I wish” this or that. I love my job at an all-girls university, and have become more involved in extracurricular activities now that I’m used to teaching and the workload. I started a “Music Club” with a group of girls who love to sing, and we’ve had a blast putting on our first performance at a college event, “Kaleidoscope,” a couple weeks ago. In January, I’ll be working with the Drama Club to put on a performance of The Taming of the Shrew. I spent a whole weekend revising Shakespeare’s script to make it culturally appropriate (sorry, Will, no mention of alcohol [a lot of “ale” and “wine” are dunk in the play....] is permitted!) I can’t wait to start working with my lovely colleague, who I’ll call “M,” and casting the parts!

I’ve also been tutoring three nights a week, and though it’s a busy schedule, I really enjoy working with the grade twelve girl, and her younger sister who is in grade six. They’re both motivated and work hard, which is a refreshing change from some—though not all ;)—of my students in my full-time job. Just last week, one of the students in my writing class came and told me she got 60% on a quiz I’d posted online for the class to complete. I’d told them they could leave class once they finished the quiz, and gave them two chances to attempt the answers. (In our program a 65% is a pass). I suggested that she take advantage of her second chance to write the quiz and asked her if she was aware of her mark in the class (an F). “Yes, miss, I know I’m failing. I don’t want to be in school. It’s okay if I fail.” MAJOR *sigh* from my side. Doesn’t she realize that a good education is worth SO MUCH, and is something that many, many women in Saudi Arabia—and throughout the world, for that matter—don’t have the opportunity to receive?

While hearing this lack of motivation can be frustrating, I have to admit that I was duly warned. Without fail, in every interview I had for various teaching positions in Saudi Arabia, I was asked “how would you deal with students who have no motivation?” Yes, this is definitely an issue!

On the other hand, many of my students are exceptional and have the desire to learn, to work hard, and to take advantage of their classes. They are excited to perfect their English so they can excel in their majors (many will go on to study Business, Interior Design, Speech and Hearing Sciences, the Social Sciences, etc.). Saudi Arabia is a country with so much opportunity!

We know too well how terrible the economy has been—and continues to be—in the Western world. Here in Saudi Arabia, most people cannot comprehend that there aren’t ample job opportunities for someone with my level of education. Their jaws drop every time I tell stories of my friends with master’s degrees working at McDonald’s, Wal-Mart, and other places where we worked to earn an extra buck while we were in high school. I graduated two years ago with my master’s degree, and after being accepted into a PhD program (also in Canada), I declined full funding and offers of admission because the employment situation—even for very highly educated people—is so grim in Canada.

In Saudi Arabia, by contrast, my students can be assured that they will have jobs—and good ones at that! The government, mashallah, is taking extensive steps to ‘Saudize’ the job market. So my task is to encourage these young women to work hard and appreciate the assurance of appealing careers that they will love once they graduate with their bachelor’s degrees.

Where have I been?

Changing the subject a little, I’ve been on a little hiatus from my blog for a number of reasons. Lots of things have been going on since DH and I returned to Jeddah after the summer.

Visits to Makkah

DH and I are thankful that Jeddah is a short 45 minute drive from the Holy City of Makkah. We try to get away and have little weekend “staycations” (i.e. stay in a hotel somewhere relatively close to home) at least once a month so that we can get away from the rush of everyday life and stop, relax, and rejuvenate. It’s been really making being in Saudi Arabia a rewarding experience. Makkah, a bustling city surrounded by desert and mountains, is an absolutely breathtaking place, and hearing the adhan (call to prayer) in the haram (holiest area) is simply phenomenal. Subhanallah!

On the way to Makkah.

Some beautiful desert scenery.

Getting into the city; view of the Clock Tower in the distance.

The Clock Tower, Makkah, Saudi Arabia

DH and I especially appreciate our little monthly escapes because we’ve both been so busy with planning for something else: possible returns to graduate school!

A return to graduate school?

Since DH was studying for his GMAT for business school admission over the summer, I’ve also been toying with the idea of a return to graduate school myself. I mentioned that I was offered funding and admission for my PhD two years ago, but declined in order to move abroad and experience life and work in Saudi Arabia. I don’t regret this decision, but I really do miss academia and would love, love, love to go back and continue with my research. With a master’s degree, I’m qualified to teach at the university level here in Saudi Arabia, but in Canada, I can only teach at the college level with an MA. I am thinking that with a PhD, even if the university job market is impossible to penetrate, with a PhD in English I would at least be more competitive for college-level faculty positions.

Trinity College Dublin

That said, I spent the better part of the past three months working on external funding applications,  research proposals, contacting potential supervisors, and filling out a million and one annoying “fill in the field” forms on various university websites. Alhamdulillah I’m finished with my Canadian PhD school and funding applications... Now I’m thinking about applying in the UK, too.

Ireland!

On my two-week break in October, DH went to Mecca for Hajj (the pilgrimage that every Muslim who is physically and financially able to perform must complete once in his or her lifetime), and after finishing most of my PhD applications, a friend and I traveled to Dublin, Ireland for the second week of the break.

Naturally, after seeing the sights, I ended up on a university campus (it just happened—I didn’t plan it, I swear!!!) and was able to meet with a couple of potential supervisors at Trinity College Dublin. I love the idea of studying in the UK, especially since my field is early modern British drama. The archives, theatres and resources there cannot compare to what we have in Canada. I’d have to end up applying for travel grants to visit the UK anyways... Unfortunately, though, funding for postgraduate studies in the UK (and Europe in general?) is nothing compared to Canada where I can expect to be offered enough funding to cover my tuition, books, AND living expenses, and possibly even put some money aside. Since I met with a potential supervisor in Dublin, though, I think I’ll go through with my application there and see if I’m offered anything competitive.

The Cliffs of Moher, Ireland

Dublin is truly beautiful, and since I was there toward the end of October, all the shops were setting up their Christmas displays and the cooler weather made me so nostalgic for home. This is my second Christmas away from my family, but it hasn’t been a bad thing so far. In Saudi Arabia, Christmas is just any other day, so it makes me less inclined to sit around feeling like I’m missing out.

A visit home!

Between semesters in January, though, I have a week off. I’m excited that my mom bought me a ticket to fly home for that week so I can visit family! I especially miss my little sister (well, at 16, she’s not so little anymore!) and can’t wait to hang out and enjoy some nice chilly Toronto weather! (I hope I can handle it after Jeddah`s consistent heat!!!)

See you soon...

Thanks for stopping by and reading! It’s always nice to keep in touch with friends and family, and to have visitors from all over the world come to Pink Jeddah Sunset and say hello!

Until next time, Asalamu alaikum!