Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Living it up in Saudi: The "relaxed" life of working expats!


Back in Saudi Sand!

Well, after a month of being home in Jeddah, I`ve finally found the time to write. What’s driven me (almost forced me because I’m slightly incapacitated...) to write has become somewhat of an opportunity to contemplate life here. Since last night, I’ve had a terrible, terrible stomach ache that simply won’t go away! I left work early this afternoon with the ever-growing sensation of knives stabbing my insides. Not fun. I’ve had stomach problems my whole life; I remember being in grade one and going to a specialist with my mom. No doctor really diagnosed what’s wrong. Considering that the elimination of various foods didn’t point to anything diet-wise, my conclusion is simple. Stress. 

Back to the desert! 
“Stress...in Saudi Arabia?!” you may be asking. “Aren’t you in the most laid-back part of the world? Where things take forever to get done, where taking your time is the name of the game?” Well, let’s go back in time a little bit and recall the time when I thought the same way...
Stress?


What We Expect

Since returning to Jeddah on September 3rd, this past month has flown by in a flurry of, yes, chaos and busyness. When I first moved to Saudi Arabia, I was under the impression that all things in the Kingdom are done in a leisurely, relaxed pace. I was "sold" on the idea that moving here would mean a new lifestyle marked by short workdays, lots of holidays and opportunities to travel, and weekends spent gallivanting around shopping and visiting with friends. 

At his job, DH, who was here for two and a half years before I joined him, comes and goes depending on his class schedule. Some days, he teaches for three hours in the morning and is then free from 11am on! Needless to say, I had some pretty rosy glassed on when I decided to move here!
Commuter train in Toronto
Today at work I was chatting with my wonderful boss, M. She's really sweet and we get along amazingly well, Alhamdulillah (Arabic for praise God!). Years ago, M used to work in Paris. She commuted back and forth from work to home for three hours a day. She took a bus, the train, and was rushed, rushed, rushed with work, family, and life commitments. This is life in the West. I, too, as an undergraduate student, graduate student and an employee often felt simultaneously burdened with so many commitments: extra-curriculars, volunteering, school work, teaching and research assistantships, funding applications, family responsibilities, and later on wedding planning to top it all off! 

And then came the opportunity to move to KSA. "Yes," I thought. "Finally a break. Finally all my hard work, my rushing here and there, my chaotic life will come to a halt." I couldn't wait for a change of pace.   


What We Actually Get!

And then I arrived in Jeddah. The first month was absolutely wonderful. I'd been waiting for months on end for my visa (for that story click here: http://pinkjeddahsunset.blogspot.ca/2011/09/time-is-very-slow-for-those-who-wait.html, and here: http://pinkjeddahsunset.blogspot.ca/2011/11/day-42-why-we-wait.html), and DH and I, then newlyweds, had spent some torturous time apart (really—it felt like forever) while I waited for sponsorship. I arrived here mid-semester last December, and had to wait until the new term at the end of January to begin teaching. 

In the meantime, DH showed me around my new city, took me for dinner, drove me to the Red Sea Mall, the Red Sea, and showed me a good time. And then I started working.
My first trip to the Red Sea,
December 2011
Reality Sets In

Starting a new job is not easy. Neither is being in a new country. Being newly married isn’t a walk in the park, either! Needless to say, it was a tough, tough year adjusting to all these new things.

Oh, how I resented my husband at the time. (I’m sorry, my love!) My job was (and is) NOT a simple “go in for your classes, then head on home” kind of job. While DH often brought work home, he, as a man who is permitted to drive here, had the “leisure” of being able to drive straight home after work. Even if I finished class at 11am, he taught until 4pm on those days and so I had to wait for him, my DH, my DD (designated driver!).
Wishing I was allowed to drive our car...
Exit/Re-Entry Visas

On top of this, DH had promised that we’d have the chance to travel and “see the world” when I moved here. [Let me pause for a second and draw your attention to something quite *interesting* [insert sarcasm here!!]: Saudi Arabia is the ONLY country in the world where you not only require a visa to ENTER the country, but one to EXIT and RE-ENTER again. A person’s employer / sponsor must issue this document for a person who is not Saudi to leave the country.] So, go figure that when I finally arrived in Jeddah, it was the first year that DH’s workplace stopped allowing employees exit / re-entry visas at any time other than over Hajj Break (the annual pilgrimage to Makkah). Like some large corporations, DH’s university gives long vacations a number of times throughout the year, but no longer allows employees to leave the country. How frustrating!!! Last year, I did end up visiting friends who are teaching in Kuwait, but without DH it just wasn’t the same. This year (actually, in just over two weeks a really good friend of mine and I are traveling to Ireland for our vacation!) I guess it`s not all bad news--at least I can come and go!
No traveling for him... 
Overall, my misconceptions about what it meant to “work” in Saudi Arabia were honestly one of the worst perpetrators of my negativity and consequent attitude about being here. The college where I work isn’t just another “private” college. It’s an internationally-accredited, degree-granting university. The first one in Jeddah to be American accredited, in fact. Accordingly, we have extremely high standards, academic and otherwise, to maintain, and this means that faculty necessarily have to work longer and harder than instructors at other institutions. At the end of the day, though, this is what drew me to my place of work. I had other job offers (I wrote about one of them here: http://pinkjeddahsunset.blogspot.ca/2011/05/delays-and-other-job-offers.html), but my school has so many benefits.
The College!
The garden at work
The Silver Lining

As with other Saudi schools, it’s an all-female environment. Once I’m at work, I can take off my abaya and hijab and wear what are considered, by Canadian standards, “normal” business-casual clothes. OH, THE FREEDOM!!! Seriously, when a man enters the college (to fix something or to give a workshop, etc.), alerts go off over the PA system: “A man is in the building. Please put on your abayas. I repeat: put on your abayas!!!” Sitting at work or teaching in the classroom in an abaya and hijab is definitely not as comfortable as wearing “normal” clothes. I prefer that the men stay away!

Although I worked so much last year—and in fact I’ve been teaching two extra classes this semester because we’re waiting for another faculty member to receive her visa; I’ve also taken up a tutoring position three nights a week—this year is much better. At the college, we have lots of extra-curriculars, events and activities. Last year I taught piano lessons to Saudi students, and this year a colleague and I have started the Drama and Music Club. We’ll put on a production each semester and get the girls involved in the fine arts.

The college also has English and Arabic Journalism Clubs, a Mock UN Club (that won something last year in a competition at Harvard!), sports clubs, and basketball, badminton, and dance teams, just to name a few! It’s a bustling, busy place.
The atrium where the Club Fair was today!
Champion Sports Room
We offer majors including Law, Business, Fashion and Interior Design, Architecture, Arabic, the Social Sciences, and many others. Graduates have gone on to complete master’s degrees and PhDs in America, Canada and Europe. I’m really and truly proud to be part of the community where I work. Yes, I work a lot of long, hours, but what teacher doesn’t (okay, maybe there are *some*...)?


And I Wouldn’t Change a Thing!
(...except for my stomach ache lol)

At the end of the day, most of my students are hard-working, honest and respectful young women who have solid goals, plans and ambitions they can’t wait to embark on! We have fantastic discussions about social issues, women’s rights, and the ongoing rapid changes—especially in women’s education, as I’ve described above—in this rapidly-developing country. I’m thrilled to be a part of this amazingly inspiring social change in Saudi Arabia, and am honoured to spend so much time with this strong, determined generation of Arab women.

Friday, 31 August 2012

Back to the Desert!

Goodbye Toronto...Hello London!

Good morning, my lovely readers! It's been some time since I posted and I thought I should pop in and say a little something before DH and I head back to the desert. It's been a wonderfully glorious summer in Toronto. I've caught up with friends and family; I've laughed, I've cried, and I've come out on top... ready to tackle another year in Saudi Arabia!

One of my favourite things about Toronto is the beautiful waterfront. I've enjoyed afternoon walks along the Woodbine Beach boardwalk, dipping my feet in the warm water, and soaking up the sunshine on my skin. There are stunning nature trails and paved pathways along Lake Ontario, and I've thoroughly enjoyed checking out new pathways and sights every day.

Here are some of my favourite photos from the Beaches:
Waves crashing up on the shore: Lake Ontario

The boardwalk at Woodbine Beach <3


I didn't surf, but it looked like lots of fun!

One of the "recreation trails" I explored. 
I got up to the family cottage only once...and, go figure, it was on a rainy day! But I took advantage of the time by catching up on some leisurely (!!) reading (yes, the leisurely part is shocking after all my time in grad school!), and having a great visit with my mom and dad. The last morning up north the rain stopped, and my dad and I were lucky to enjoy a canoe ride like old times. It's so peaceful on the water.

Off We Go...

I've spent the last week or so feeling a mixture of emotions: sad to leave Toronto, family, and friends, but excited for all the good things this year will bring. For those of you who know me well, I really don't enjoy change. I'm actually terrified of it. And somehow I ended up on this crazy, life-changing adventure! As challenging and crazy as life can be abroad, I don't regret my time in KSA for a second.

In anticipation of my return to Jeddah, I've decided to make a list of all the things I'm eagerly anticipating about this coming year abroad. So, without further ado...

My Top 10 List for 2012-2013

1. Our 2 day stopover in London, England

I've never been to England, and DH had a stopover there years ago and didn't get to see much. We've both been talking about taking a trip to London, and I wasn't sure it would happen. Then his university booked our flights back and gave us a 24 hour stopover in London! Needless to say, we're both pretty excited! I wonder if the Olympic rings will still be hanging from London Bridge...
London Bridge
2. Returning to Jeddah...WITH DH!!!

This is something that brings me a particularly noteworthy thrill: I already have my Saudi residency, and I'm not going to be sitting around waiting for an indefinite amount of time waiting for a visa (like my 75 day wait last fall). Yay! My husband and I, after so many months and years apart in the past, finally have a predictable future: together!!!
Back to Jeddah!
3. Going back to Work!

Another thing that I'm definitely not taking for granted is having a stable job, given the Canadian / US / European (heck, most of the world's) economic situation. To top it off, not only am I so blessed with a job, but I love, love, love my colleagues and where I work. I'm excited to return with all the energy, vigor, and passion in me!
Work!
4.  Unending Summer!

A big part of what's making returning to Jeddah easier is the progressively cooler weather Toronto hands us each day. DH and I have taken to having our morning coffee on the balcony and it's actually becoming almost too cold to sit out. If I wanted to stay in Toronto, it wouldn't be the same as the glorious summer we've just enjoyed anyways. So, off to Jeddah's sunshine and pleasant winter weather.
Al Hamra, Jeddah...in the winter!!!
5. Walking

I love to walk. I will walk for hours just taking in the scenery, people, breathing in the beautiful air... I do love Canadian falls. The air is so crisp, it's breezy, and it feels like a new beginning (I guess this part is usually associated with spring, but given that September marks the start of the academic year, it's always been a beginning for me!)

When I first moved to Jeddah, I anticipated not being able to walk outside. Why? First, it can get SO hot. Second, wearing an abaya, I wasn't the most graceful at first, and I didn't think a brisk walk would be ideal given that I'd probably trip. So the first item on my "to do" list when I moved there was to purchase a treadmill.

Okay, so in this photo walking looks quite glorified...I just don't have a photo of the "other" walking area I described lol I guess I could walk here, too, though. :)
Since living there for 7 months, however, I've realized that people DO walk outside. In fact, some men even run! DH and I found this "walking area" (sidewalks are, by the way, a bit of a novelty) on our way home from work. People walk briskly, jog, run, or even stroll along. Some people are out at noon (which, quite frankly, I don't know how it's possible when it's so hot!) but the busiest time is the evening and night time once it cools down a bit. I have yet to join the walking crowd out there, but this is something I'm looking forward to giving a try. It will beat staring at the wall while on my treadmill at home. Let's just see if I can handle the heat!

6. Sunshine

In Toronto, I love the summer. I love the fall. But I'm not a huge fan of the winter and early spring. I find it hard to keep motivated and positive when the days are so short and the sunshine isn't too prevalent. In Jeddah, we have sunshine all year round!!! This is definitely something I'm looking forward to as family and friends prepare for another Canadian winter!
Sunshine
7. Weekends!

I've been a student most of my life... No, ALL of my life, and something else I love is having weekends. Granted, many weekends I bring marking home, but there's a greater sense of freedom in having at least an entire day off! No worrying about upcoming proposals, papers, exams, seminars or readings. Just some leisurely marking, and time. Time to read. Time to work out. Time to cook. Time (and some money!) to go shopping...

And the topic of weekends leads me to #8:

8. Trips!

In Saudi, we're close to a lot of often unexplored (or unfrequented by most traveling westerners) cities and countries. Within Saudi itself there is lots to explore. A difficult country for which to get a visa, DH and I hope to explore more of KSA before we leave. Makkah, Taif, and maybe Riyadh are among some cities we hope to see.
Travel!
Living in Saudi Arabia also brings the advantage that we're closer to lots of other travel spots that, from Canada, are a long, tiring journey. The United Arab Emirates (UAE) -- I want to visit a friend in Dubai on Hajj break, inshallah -- Kuwait where a good friend and her husband are living and working (I went last March and hope to go again this year), and Jordan. Everyone raves about the historic sights and natural beauty there. Unfortunately, I doubt we'll be able to see all these places, but I'm excited to see where the coming year will lead us!

9. Makkah!

Makkah (or Mecca) is Islam's holiest city, the birthplace of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), and the home of the Kaaba (see photo below). DH and I took an overnight trip to Makkah before the summer and it was such an amazing experience. Only a 45 minute drive from Jeddah, we'll inshallah take monthly weekend getaways and stay in Makkah, relax, and pray.
The Kaaba in Makkah
10. Lifestyle

In Saudi Arabia, although I, as a woman, am not permitted to drive, the lifestyle is much more laid back. I work a lot, but it's possible to take time out to relax, unwind and enjoy a good quality of life. Food in Jeddah is cheap, gas is even cheaper, shopping is amazing, and I have some wonderful friends who I can't wait to see when I return in a few days (British "S" and Saudi / American "A" you know who you are!!)
This is some Indian food we had in TO; however, in Jeddah, you would pay a fraction of what we paid for this ($35), and get this (takeout) for probably $5.
Off I Go...
DH and I fly out of Toronto tonight, and can't wait for our time in London. Then, it's off to Jeddah where I have no doubt that it's going to be an amazing year. I can't wait to share my stories and experiences with you all...here on Pink Jeddah Sunset.

Salam alaikum...and see you all soon!

Friday, 20 July 2012

Ramadan Mubarak!


Ramadan begins...
Today marks the first day of this year's Ramadan (the Islamic month of prayer and fasting).... So, to everyone fasting and celebrating throughout this sacred month--wherever you are in the world--Ramadan Kareem!

Crescent moon: it's Ramadan!

Home sweet home!

DH and I made it safely to Toronto last week and we're both back up and at 'em, having overcome our jet lag pretty well now. The first week here I had a pretty yucky cold, but alhamdulillah I'm feeling much better now. Already, our time home has been full of fun times and busyness. My 16-year-old sister's come to Toronto a couple times from just east of the city to visit. Our condo is really close to a GO train (commuter train that goes from the suburbs to downtown Toronto) station, so she's able to hop on and then I can meet her easily. My second night here, we went to a concert for her belated birthday present (Train with lead singer Pat Monaghan). Train is her favourite band, and she managed to get backstage passes to MEET the band!!! She was more than ecstatic and I was happy to be a part of this kick off to summer fun!

Train performing at the Sony Center, Toronto

Living the life
I've been catching up with friends, eating too much sushi (but how can I not!?), and visiting out of town family. DH has been studying away to write the GMAT exam for admission to an MBA (master of business administration) program, so I've been free to run about here and there. We spend evenings together enjoying the amazing weather (we can actually enjoy the outdoors here unlike in nearly-uninhabitable summer Jeddah! lol), going for evening walks, and enjoying breakfasts and dinners on the balcony. It's just like a cottage retreat out back, although the condo (facing the other side) is right on the streetcar line.

A view from our balcony...so much green!



Looking for a foster home for Oreo... Anyone?
Being back in Canada is wonderful, but on the downside, when I visited my parents, my cat, Oreo, who I left here, is extremely angry with me! (Yes, I'm aware I sound like a cat lady, attributing these feelings and emotions to my little ball of fur, but I KNOW him, really I do!!) The first time he sniffed my hand, he ran away from me...but yesterday he finally let me pet him and he even purred a little. The current task, however, is to find him a new adoptive home for the next 10 months. Two of my brothers moved back in with my parents. They have a cat, too, and my dad said one is more than enough... So, any Toronto or GTA-based readers who want to foster Oreo for a few months while I'm away? Send me a message or comment on this entry if you're interested. :)
My handsome, well-behaved, playful Oreo!

One more year?
Speaking of the 10 month time frame...DH and I have reached a pretty sure decision about our time in KSA. He's been there for over three years now (where the time went I don't know!) and although I'm enjoying the experience and have learned so, so much, because of his MBA, we will inshallah be moving back to Toronto for at least two years (the program's duration) while he finishes the degree. I'm a little sad about the move, although we will still have a year back in Jeddah. I've made such amazing friends, and LOVE my work and colleagues. There's so much unknown back in Canada with the economy still being quite shaky, and jobs still difficult to come by. Nothing is for sure, but hopefully once DH completes his MBA we can return to Jeddah. Or, who knows, I'll go back to school for my PhD? I'd so love that!
Applying for an MBA...

With more money, we can live a much better life in KSA. Part of our decision to move is pretty simple: women can't drive. As I mentioned in a previous post (see here: http://pinkjeddahsunset.blogspot.ca/2012/06/thinking-about-moving-to-ksa-my.html), this was something I was completely aware of when I decided to move to Saudi, but a rule that neither DH or I realized would affect us with such gravity on a day to day basis. Since I can't get behind the wheel, and a full-time driver is quite expensive (especially when our goal is to SAVE money in Saudi!), it is really frustrating and trying to be immobilized. DH is an "indoor" kind of person who is happy to stay at home for probably a whole week (lol!!) without going out. I, on the other hand, go crazy after spending the better part of a full day in the house. On weekends, once I clean the house and get some cooking and laundry done, I'm itching to get out, visit friends, go shopping, or just do something--anything!!--that involves escaping the four walls of the apartment (well, to be fair, I guess we have more than four walls...but you get the picture). My dad jokes that DH and I are like my grandparents who have the same preferences: BonneMaman loves getting out and can't sit still, and Grandad loves sitting inside and reading the days away. Going out isn't his priority, just like my DH. My grandparents have been married for over 50 years, so of course these differences can work, but in KSA it's another story when I can't come and go easily on my own. That's been quite a source of frustration for us this past year, and it's something that we don't want to have to continue to face right now. 




One year anniversary!
The 22nd of July marks our one year wedding anniversary. Wow! Yes, family and friends who cautioned us, spending our very first year of marriage in foreign country--and Saudi Arabia at that!--has been quite challenging! I'm not complaining--I truly value the experience and look forward to our next year in Jeddah--but it's more than either of us thinks we're able to manage at the moment. With his school situation pointing us back to Toronto, too, it seems like the best move, for the time being, to return to Canada.

First year of marriage...

I can't help but think of how true this line is, though: "Make plans, and God laughs." So maybe we'll end up staying in Saudi. Or somewhere else. Only time will tell! For now, though, we're looking forward to the rest of the summer in Toronto, and to catching up with everyone here! :)

Thanks for reading...and Ramadan Mubarak to you all!!!

Ramadan Mubarak!

Monday, 9 July 2012

Off to Toronto!

I can't believe how fast the past month has flown by! DH and I decided to stay in Jeddah a bit longer and work the summer semester, so only now are we flying home. We leave this evening, and I thought I should pop in and say hello and give a little update!
Upon arriving in Toronto Tuesday afternoon, we'll be staying in a subletted condo in Toronto's beautiful, bright Beaches neighbourhood, and we're looking forward to enjoying the milder Toronto summer weather! It's been at least 40 degrees here in Jeddah each day, and on top of that it's super humid (I'm used to humidity in Toronto, but Jeddah's humid climate on top of the heat is something I've never experienced before!)

I just finished packing and now must go and clear out the fridge. I hear DH in the kitchen starting to tackle that mission. I'd better go lend him a hand.

I'll try to update my you on my latest adventures (including a little road trip to Makkah) once I'm over my jet lag. For now, happy summer, enjoy the sunshine, and keep smiling!!

Salam alaikum,

Julie :) 

Friday, 8 June 2012

Thinking About Moving to KSA? My Experience and Advice!

 Setting the Stage: What's KSA Really Like?

If you're a reader of my blog, you're either a friend, family member, or someone who was searching to learn about life in Saudi Arabia. Perhaps you're even considering moving here! I know that when I was thinking about coming, I went through a long and complicated decision-making process. It included reading a LOT of articles, travel guides, and --most importantly--blogs!! Blogs, I found, give the "real" on the ground experience of life in KSA. Rather than reading "educated" or "researched" speculations about the country and culture, blogs provide a more realistic perspective that show the good with the bad in a usually more balanced, less biased way than, say, an article about the "poor, oppressed women" in Saudi Arabia.
Do you think I'm oppressed? Think again!
Being here, I find answers and make discoveries about the "REAL" Saudi Arabia every single day. When I was deciding to come, I was scared, nervous, hesitant, and very unsure. Are women really really as oppressed as the Western media makes them out to be? How would it be to be a Christian woman here? What would it be like to cover when it's SO HOT out? (This is, after all, the desert!) What about not being able to drive? Being dependent on my "male guardian"? Not being able to leave the country without my husband's permission? Question after question. 
Moving to Saudi?

The Real Thing: Not What Anyone Told Me!
I was surprised that when I moved here I really didn't experience culture shock. I guess I was over-prepared! Additionally, the things that I thought would be a HUGE deal (for instance, covering) aren't even bothersome, while things that I didn't think I would mind are at times overwhelmingly aggravating (such as not being able to drive. Turns out it's a BIG deal, especially in a city like Jeddah where there is NO semblance of a transportation system. And I'm used to Toronto's amazing TTC / metro).

Advice: should I move?
I was inspired to post this entry when a woman who is part of a Yahoo group in which I'm a member (shout out to "Expats in Saudi Arabia"!) asked the following question:

I'll be moving to SA with my family in about one month. I'm feeling very rotten about not being able to leave unless my "sponsor" gets me an exit visa. Please tell me there is an easy way for me to get out of the country when I want to do so.

I'm 26 years old and single; both my parents got job offers in Riyadh, and since they're still paying for my education, I've got to tag along. I will be living in SA with a dependent visa under one of my parents. My plan is to finish my education, save some money teaching, and leave the first chance I get.

I need to assess whether I should go or not. If it's going to make me a depressed wreck then I have to make some decisions.

I'm U.S Citizen currently living in Malaysia. My parents are Muslim; father is Egyptian. My father already has the whole Arab culture thing going (wear the hijab, don't sit with men), which I've learned to deal with quite well through the years. But a whole country of it, I don't know.

I'd appreciate some input to help me make a decision on what to do.
What's Saudi really like?
Here's my reply.

I saw your question and thought I'd add in my two cents. I'm a Canadian female, 27 years old, and thought we might have similar experiences in KSA given our similar demographic. I live in Jeddah, however, and I'm sure that would make a difference in terms of my notes about daily life.

My husband moved to KSA a few years ago, and last fall I finally decided to join him. Here, even if a woman is on her own visa, she has to have her husband's (or guardian's / father's) permission to leave the country. That REALLY irked me at the beginning, too, and I read a number of stories about daughters / women being "trapped" in KSA because their husbands or fathers had denied them permission to leave. My mother, in particular, was big on warning me that my husband would "trap" me in KSA. She was sure she'd never see me again.

An American friend who lives here and is married to a Saudi gave me the best advice on this concern. She said that as long as you completely trust your husband (in your case your father...) then you shouldn't worry about this regulation. So, do you trust that your father would give you the freedom to come and go? It's not an issue at all to get an exit / re-rentry visa as others have pointed out; the issue is unfortunately our guardian's "permission."
The turning point in my decision to come was based on my friend's advice, which I took. I completely trust my husband, and he has signed for me to travel a couple of times now. It's no issue.

The Things I Wasn't Ready For...
The BIG issues (at least for me) are things I COMPLETELY overlooked and didn't think would matter when I was deciding whether or not to move here. That's to say the things that drive me crazy are the day to day frustrations and inconveniences of being a woman in this country. The biggest thing? I naively thought that not being allowed to drive wouldn't bother me. How wrong I was!! If you're at all like me and enjoy going out, shopping, having the ease of coming and going at your leisure (even to grab some groceries or have a quick coffee with a girlfriend), then this will definitely be an adjustment for you in Saudi. 
The frustration of not being able to drive...
Would you be living on a compound? Or in the city? We live in an apartment in the city, which gives us a nice cultural experience in Jeddah, but it means I don't have the shopping trips on the compound bus, or the collegiality with other women who'd live nearby on the compound. 

This fall we plan to get a driver once we come back from holidays. This was my biggest dissatisfaction so far, and if I could have got out on my own, been able to meet up with friends, and had a general freedom of movement that having a driver would bring, it would have made my first 6 months here a LOT easier. I don't know any Arabic, and my husband isn't comfortable with the idea of me taking cabs alone. There's nothing fun about waiting for an "approved driver" my husband knows for 4 hours in a mall the keeps closing for prayer when I just want to be back home!
The best advice I can give: get a driver!!!! 
Sooo....after all this detail (sorry it's so long lol) I'd say that if you'd be living in a compound, you'd live a pretty "normal" life and have a pool, gym, friends nearby, transportation... and it would probably be just fine. If you'd be living in the city, negotiate with your parents to get a driver. It would make life in Riyadh manageable. Definitely different and a BIG change, but it wouldn't be so bad if you had a way around. Trust me, even if the man in your life (father, husband, brother) says he'd LOVE to drive you around, after a month or so he'll stop enjoying the traffic jams, shopping waiting, and being your chauffeur. 

The Verdict is In!
Overall, Saudi is a unique experience that many Westerners never have. It's definitely something that will contribute to your personality!! I don't regret moving here, and most of the time I'm pretty happy :)
Good luck and all the best in making this big decision! Feel free to ask any other questions...and let me know what you decide!!

Back to You, my Readers...
So...what about you? Are you reading my blog as a way to help you make the decision about whether to move to KSA? Are there any questions you still have that I didn't address? 
from abaya...
to swimsuit!!




Wherever you are, and whatever your situation, have a fun and safe summer...and enjoy the heat!!! For my part, I'm looking forward to some "cool" Toronto weather (i.e. nothing over 30 degrees most of the time!) and some warm evenings. (Here in Jeddah we're lucky if it stays below 40 degrees in the day + humidity. At night, the temperature goes down to only about 25 or 27 degrees. Yikes!!)









DH and I will be flying into Toronto on July 10th. We're looking forward to enjoying a summer sublet in the city. I, for one, await the day I can soak up the sun sans abaya

Keep smiling,

Julie :)

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Women Driving: The Debate Persists

Manal Al-Sharif: The Struggle for Women Driving Continues
"Susie's Big Adventure," one of the blogs of which I've been an avid follower since I was first researching life in Saudi Arabia, recently posted a link to a riveting video.

Manal Al-Sharif is a young Saudi woman, wife and mother. In June 2011, she got behind the wheel in Al-Kohbar, a city in KSA,and defied the ban on women driving. While she drove, a friend videotaped her, and she later posted her "defiant" actions on YouTube. Soon after, she was arrested and put in jail for a little over a week before finally being released on bail. Here's the video she posted on YouTube before her arrest:



Manal's campaign, "Women2Drive," called for women to get together and drive on June 17, 2011. On that day, over 100 women got behind the wheel. The struggle for women to drive in KSA continues, and earlier this week, Manal spoke at the "Oslo Freedom Forum" in Norway. Most notably, she discusses that
"The struggle is not about driving a car, the struggle is about being in the driver's seat of our destiny." 
How true; it goes so far beyond just driving, although driving is itself a very real issue as the above video makes clear. Here's the link to her 17 minute speech. It's a fascinating call to female empowerment in Saudi Arabia, and provides a really enlightening recent history of Saudi Arabia. I learned so much about why things are the way they are here (especially in regards to extremism, and the situation for women), and how things have evolved so rapidly (and largely positively) from the frightening mentality that began in the 1970s and 80s.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PXXNK-3zQ4&feature=player_embedded

The personal experience: frustrating!!!
Interestingly, just two weeks ago, a friend of mine who grew up here in Saudi posted on my facebook page that a mutual friend "saw a woman driving the other day I swear! I think some women here have [become really defiant] lol I'd be scared of the law!!" It just goes to show how strong the "social norm" here is: men belong behind the wheel--in all aspects of life. Women do not. Did you hear Mahal's words? Extremist thinking about gender segregation means that most not only do restaurants, banks, schools, etc here have separate entrances for men and women; this often extends to our homes! That's an interesting topic for another blog!! :)

In any case, don't get me started on why it's SO wrong that men are in control...especially on the roads. From personal experience, it's more frustrating than I expected that men can drive and women cannot. Firstly, the roads here are crazy. Nuts. Insane. At best, I have white knuckles when we're going anywhere. And my husband is a good driver! At worst, it's absolutely terrifying, and I'm often very anxious sitting in the passenger's seat.

When I was in Kuwait, my friend and I were in a cab going around a roundabout, and she said that driving in Kuwait City is scary. If that's the case, I can't find words enough to describe the effects of 100% testosterone governing Saudi roads. Not to mention that half of the population is under, what, 25 years of age? That puts mostly 6-25 year old guys behind the wheel.

The driving age is WHAT?!?!
That brings up another point. The above age range was NOT a typo! Walahi (meaning, "I swear," in Arabic), IT WASN'T!!!! Manal mentions this in the first video above. Little boys who can barely see over the steering wheel routinely drive here. Even in our building there's a kid who goes out most days in the family SUV. DH and I frequently witness his attempts to park the large vehicle.

Last week we were at IKEA and there was an older woman sitting in the passenger's seat of a giant SUV, and guess what? She was being driven by what looked like her 8 year old grandson. YES! A completely adept, evidently visually and mentally capable woman was taking the figurative back seat to her grandson! Who knows how this is allowed to happen!!

Wasta!! (It's high time I mentioned this one!)
Wasta, my husband says, is the reason for the above question. That's the Arabic word for "connection" or "favour." Basically, if a person in this country--or I think in the Arab world in general?--has a connection to a "higher-up" (a prince, someone who works for the government, or perhaps the traffic police in this case) then the law can't really touch him or his family. He'll get out of anything that might go wrong. So, a mother sending her 8 year old son to pick up some yogurt and tomatoes for her cooking is just fine, so long as her family has wasta!

Back again soon!
Anyways, it's a busy time with the university semester winding down (and my marking piling sky high!), but I realized it was high time for me to blog again. When I saw Susie's post and Manal's talk at the Oslo Freedom Forum, I just had to write something brief on the matter. (Here's the link to Susie's post by the way: http://susiesbigadventure.blogspot.com/2012/05/manal-al-sharif-oslo-freedom-forum-2012.html)

Your Turn!
What do YOU think? Does Manal have a point? Or are we all missing the "luxury" of being chauffered around by our drivers (if we're lucky; I'm not!), husbands, brothers, and 6 year old sons? Let me know what you think in the comments box below. :)

Friday, 30 March 2012

A trip to Kuwait and Social Change in KSA

March Break Travels

Hello my lovely readers! While family and friends in Toronto, Canada have been enjoying a mild spring with temperatures going up to the high 20s (Celsius), it's been consistently 30-35 degrees C here in Jeddah. DH and I had this past week off work and while he continues to study for his GMAT (business school entrance exam that he'll be writing on April 12th), I had the chance to visit some close friends in Kuwait City for 5 days. It was wonderful to get away, but, since Kuwait is MUCH more liberal than Saudi, it was also a bit of a culture shock! It was warm and sunny all week, and we enjoyed checking out a local souk (my first time going to one!), walking along the Persian Gulf (sans abayas and hijab!) and soaking up some sun.
Map of Kuwait
Fun Kuwaiti coasters!
Kuwaiti woman driving.
When I first exited the airport, I was taken aback by the sight of a woman driving past. Yes--she was driving herself!!! Although Kuwait is only a 1.5 hour flight from Jeddah, and is on the north east border of Saudi Arabia, it's a much more "open" country where women can drive, people can dress pretty much as they please, and there is religious freedom. It was nice to walk around in ordinary clothes, and enjoy a Friday night Bible study with friends.
Long walkway along the Persian Gulf. So beautiful! 
The Persian Gulf and Kuwait City skyline
Colourful trinkets at the souk
The beautiful corniche in Salmyia, Kuwait

I'm about to be published!

I'm also writing today with some exciting news! A friend of mine, Shakira Abubakar, founder of Continental Rescue Africa (http://continentalrescueafrica.com/) is compiling a book on youth and social change, and, after being intrigued by reading my blog, she asked me to write an article for it! Before the book is officially published, I'm pleased to give you a sneak peak at my piece. Here it is:

The voices of “soft, gentle women”:
Contemplating social change in Saudi Arabia


Should women be permitted to drive in Saudi Arabia? Last week, I was standing in front of my class and posed this controversial question. Controversial not to those of us from Western cultures, of course, but for young Arab women, this is a highly contested topic. Among the voices that resounded strongly and adamantly in favour of women getting behind the wheel in this ultra-conservative Islamic kingdom, a single voice was heard, quietly affirming her “no.” The week previous, this college class I teach had engaged in an in-class debate about women driving. 

Upon reaching an agreement on the debate topic—the well-to-do 18-25 year old women in my class from Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Turkey, Egypt, Syria, and other Arab countries had selected this topic themselves—nearly all the girls wanted to argue that women should drive. Those appointed to the counterargument were quite distressed, but managed to gather strong evidence (mostly from religious sources) for their case. Although there is no “law” against women taking the wheel, there are strong religious rulings, or fatwas, that oppose it. In June 2011, a woman was arrested in the capital city, Riyadh, for driving. The charge against her, one student demonstrated, was not for being a woman driving, but for “not having a license.” 


Knowing that many of my students did not argue in favour of what they truly thought on the issue, I began the next class with the above question, asking for personal opinions outside their appointed debate stances. Chaos ensued. “Of course women should drive!” the girls proclaimed with passion. In the background, a timid voice resisted the group. The class was shocked. “What?! Women shouldn’t be allowed to drive?” The poor girl who had gone against the crowd! I asked her to explain her feelings on this topic. “Well,” she began, repeating some of her words from the debate (it appeared that her arguments had, in fact, reflected her personal views), “women are soft and gentle. They shouldn’t drive. It’s dangerous. What if her car breaks down? How can she change a tire?” “True,” another piped in, “when we’re wearing our abayas and hijab, it would be difficult…” Now the class was rethinking its stance. No one changed her mind, but the conversation was intriguing. 
Women driving: a religious issue?
In a theocratic country where religion governs society—the Qur’an is the law here—there are voices of resistance. Resistance is complicated, however, by the millions of expatriates, mostly from neighbouring Arab countries, though many from the West, who want change. But Saudi Arabia is not their country—not our country—to transform. Many of the girls in my class, however, were born and raised here, and perhaps their sentiments and desire for change should be heard. In ways different from other countries in the “Arab Spring,” Saudi Arabia is extremely complex. It is influenced by a vast number of foreign nationals, by various extremes in thinking, by tradition, and by a tight, closed society that seems, on first sight, impenetrable to influences from the outside world.

Much of the younger generation before me in lecture each day, however, desperately wants change, freedom, and a voice. But what happens when their voices are dominated by those of more conservative women in the Kingdom (there are, indeed, many women who do not want to drive)? When they are overpowered by traditionalists in authority? No, women driving does not sound controversial to the Western ear, but here in Saudi Arabia, even the girls who argued in favour made careful note of the challenges and obstacles to this happening. They were all concerned for their safety. As modest, respectable Muslim women, every single one of them is taken aback when a man approaches her, makes an unwelcome advance, calls out to her when she is minding her own business, abaya on, hijab tightly wrapped around her head, not a strand of hair showing. No, they do not consider themselves all that conservative, but they do demand respect. Respect, but not submission. Respect, but not disempowerment. Respect, but most definitely not lack of freedom.
Just a dream...?
The challenge here, then, is how the girls—and others in Saudi Arabia—can attain the freedom they seek without sacrificing their deep desire for respect. In a country where, despite the strong tradition that governs every aspect of society, and where things are changing on a daily basis, women driving remains a complex issue, one that is marked by unique challenges, questions, and opposition. We can only watch, and wait to see what will happen when this generation of Saudi women has the chance to make their voices heard.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Julie is a Canadian currently living and working in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. She is interested in making changes and speaking to youth about global poverty, women’s rights, and social action. After completing her master’s degree in English with a special interest in women’s issues, she followed an opportunity to teach—and learn extensively from—Saudi and Arab female university students. When she is not teaching, she enjoys relaxing with a good book, or publishing her cultural observations about Saudi Arabia on her blog, Pink Jeddah Sunset. You can find her at: www.pinkjeddahsunset.blogspot.com.

Your turn to share YOUR thoughts!
So...what do YOU think, readers? Does Saudi Arabia sound like a place so unique and "dangerous" for women that they / we shouldn't be allowed to driver here? Or would it be better for women to challenge this rule, and take their chances against the crazy men on the roads, and risk having to change a tire in our abayas?

Comment below! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this complex topic.