Summer Holidays (aka Studying for Exams) in Jeddah!

Back in the sunshine (with lots of reading in tow)...

I can’t believe that four whole months have passed by since I was last in Jeddah. Since my visit in December, I returned to Toronto, finished all my PhD coursework (generally working 12 hours a day and temporarily nearly blinding my poor, exhausted eyes in the process—that’s what I get to taking two Victorian Literature classes among others in one term!), and started studying for my comprehensive exams which take place at the end of the summer. I’ll accordingly be spending my summer reading literally #allthebooks (a favourite hashtag on Instagram and Facebook these days!). My exams are in two parts: from the Old English Beowulf to the end of the Renaissance period (1660), and then from the Restoration (referring to the restoration of King Charles II to the English throne after the English Civil War) to the present time.

Compreshensive Exams #readALLthebooks!

That’s a whole lot of reading (and a lot of books to lug in my weight-restricted luggage back to Saudi!), but now that I’m over my jet lag and knee deep in it, it’s bringing back nice childhood memories. I remember how, every summer, my parents used to try to get me outside of my bedroom at the cottage, but I’d refuse, perfectly content to remain snuggled up in bed all day with a good book—or, really, an entire series of books, because, really, one book is never enough!

Starting with the Old English Beowulf

Now that I’m an adult, I seem to have made a career of reading and academia, and, for those who know me well—especially my parents who now see that there indeed IS a purpose to my staying indoors reading, reading, reading—it is not surprising!

Jeddah: Home Sweet Home

I’m now back in Jeddah for two months. I arrived on May 2^nd, and will stay until the end of June, which is great, because it was a longggg four months without DH, though we both made excellent productive use of our time apart with our intensive studies! It’s taken some adjustment being back here and getting used to having someone other than Oreo, my dear feline friend, around, but it’s a nice change of pace to have DH come home from work at the end of the day and keep me company. I also finally have a reason to cook! Living alone, it’s hard to justify spending time slaving away at the stove, especially with my hectic school schedule, but having him with me gives me an incentive to tap into my culinary creativity!

My usual company: Oreo and his Sheep friend!

Finally signs of spring in Toronto (April 2014)

An Afternoon by the Red Sea

Today, the end of my second weekend back in Jeddah, DH had to go into work in the afternoon while I got in some study time. Once he got home, we decided to head out to the Red Sea for a nice walk along the Corniche. Of course it felt like 40 degrees Celsius outside, but I’m so very happy to be back in the HEAT, and rather enjoyed basking in the sun (well, I suppose “basking” is a bit of a figurative description since I didn’t show any skin—I even covered my face because so many people were staring at this white western girl walking quickly along…with niqab, I blend in a bit more!), but you get the idea! NO MORE WINTER!!!! It was a long and horrible Toronto winter, and the frigid weather was probably the most difficult adjustments since my move back from Saudi, but I survived.

We walked along the beautiful pathways alongside the Red Sea, pictured here:

Middle Corniche, Al Hamra, Jeddah

Corniche Walkway, Jeddah

...And then took a water / hydration break on some benches in the shade before heading over to Sushi Yoshi for some delicious sushi for dinner! Yum! We had a nice view of the King Fahd Fountain from the restaurant, and enjoyed the time out.

Sushi Yoshi!

Overall, it’s wonderful being back in Jeddah, and it really feels like I never left. Home is where the heart is, and mine is most definitely here!

PS: Readers, if you have anything you'd like me to blog about, or any questions about  Saudi / Jeddah, leave a comment below and I'll happily indulge you in my next post inshallah! :)

Beautiful Jeddah Sunset this Evening

The King Fahd Fountain, Jeddah

Ahh, warm, sunny Jeddah!

Home Sweet Home: Jeddah!

Jeddah So Far!
Although it’s dreadful being away from DH for months at a time, it is nice to have a warm place to come for vacations! J I’ve been back in Jeddah for a week now, and it’s been a really nice visit so far. Jeddah still feels like home—wherever DH is home is! I was so happy to see him at the airport, but, of course, since it’s Saudi Arabia, a hello hug and kiss had to wait until we were home!

Toronto Snowstorm: December 14th, 2013

Toronto's Weather before I left. Brrr!!!!!!

When I flew out of Toronto, a big storm was brewing, and my flight escaped in the nick of time! I hope all my friends and family at home are staying safe—the power has been out in Toronto and the GTA for over a day in some places, and many people are being advised to stay indoors because of dangerous, icy road conditions. I hope for all of you that the weather improves and, for those without power, you get heat and electricity back as soon as possible!

Toronto Ice Storm
Source: 680news.com

Toronto Ice Storm
Source: 680news.com

(Okay, now I feel bad for pointing this out...) In contrast to the Toronto ice storm (see here: http://www.680news.com/2013/12/23/toronto-power-outages-may-extend-past-christmas-ceo/), the weather in Jeddah has been lovely—around 28-30 degrees and humid, and the evenings are nice and warm. That said, I still do wish I could walk outside, but it’s not really a “normal” thing to do here for the most part. The majority of people drive wherever they’re going—even if it’s only a 2 minute walk away!

Jeddah sunrise on my drive home from the airport 

My Welcome Home Gift from DH!

When I first moved to Jeddah in 2011, one evening I decided to venture out on my own (one of those lovely newlywed arguments compelled me to defiantly leave the house on my own in the evening lol), and needless to say—even with my face covered—I got a lot of stares and honks. Sigh!

Old City Gate

Beautiful Jeddah Sunset!

That said, the malls are a good alternative for a place to go walking, although there’s always the drawback of being tempted to spend too much money when all I want to do is go for a walk!!! A new mall opened not far from our house. It’s called Al-Salaam Mall, and, now that the majority of stores are open, it’s one of the largest in Jeddah. It even has my favourite Canadian store, Dynamite, which recently came to Saudi Arabia. Now I can buy my favourite brand TAX FREE!! Woo hoo!

Last evening, DH had to work late (until 10pm), and he dropped me off at the mall so I could get out and shop! He wasn’t sure that I’d be able to fill so many hours shopping, but in this new mall, I barely made it through half of one of three floors!! Inshallah I’ll go back soon!

Dynamite is Finally in Jeddah!

Al-Salaam Mall Jeddah

Dynamite (2) 

Camels!
Perhaps the most exciting thing I finally got to experience since I arrived last week is getting to meet my first camel friends! Before moving here, I told DH that I MUST get to see some camels, and though we’ve seen some from a far distance on highway drives, until last week, I had yet to see any up close.

DH and I were driving along a road in our neighbourhood the other day, and low and behold, there were two small camels in the back of someone’s pick up truck! DH got out of the car and asked the camel guy if we could pet them and take some photos, and he agreed. Here are some photos:

Camels in Jeddah!

We think that the man may be selling the camels, because why would they randomly be in the city? Also, we’ve driven by twice since then and both times saw different camels. I hope they’re not food!!!

Road Trip!

This past weekend, we took a road trip to Mecca. We stayed in a hotel in the famous Clock Tower, and relaxed (i.e. I slept too much as I was still adjusting to the 8 hour time change!) I got to check out some shops, and bought my sister a cool scarf from the souk part of the shopping area. There were lots of great deals, as well as overpriced abayas and other things to lure tourists in, I guess!

Beautiful fountain in Mecca

The Famous Clock Tower 

Masjd al Haram

Another view of the fountain

Leaving Mecca...

Since Umrah (pilgrimage) visas are open to just GCC (Gulf Cooperation Council) nations until, I think, January, Mecca was a lot quieter than usual. We’re hoping to go back once more before I leave.

Catching Up!

I’m also excited that I’ve been catching up with friends after 5 months away. I’m especially thrilled to go back to the university where I used to work to see some past students and colleagues. That place still feels like home to me, and I am looking forward to seeing everyone again! J

Sometimes I get really nostalgic for life here—as hectic and fast paced as it was, and as much as I would get so frustrated with little things – or not so little – like, as a woman, not being allowed to drive, not getting out for walks outdoors, and the insanely long hours I worked at two jobs for most of last year. Alhamdulillah, though, it was worth it for the amazing people I met here, and I would definitely consider moving back here or somewhere in the Middle East after I finish my PhD.

The job market in Canada and the US – at least in academia and for tenure-track positions—is so depressing to think about, and it excites me to know there are lots of other countries that appreciate my education and would gladly hire me with a great salary at the end of my 5 years of my doctorate degree. All the blood, sweat and tears I'm putting in now don't have to be in vain! Only time will tell what will happen, though, and there’s always a (small) chance I will get a tenure track job closer to home (I’ll try, Mom!).

A friend (thanks, B.M.!) posted this (above) on Facebook this morning, and it really struck me: “You must go on adventures to find out where you belong.” Moving to Saudi Arabia has opened a whole new world for me, and I appreciate all the lessons I’ve learned –and often challenging experiences I’ve had—over the past couple of years. I now know so much more about the world beyond the suburb where I grew up, and Toronto, the city where I’ve spent years living. 

I’ve always been quite open-minded, and moving abroad has made me even more so. Most of all, living here has helped me to see the literally endless possibilities for the future! Even if we don’t find our perfect jobs in Canada (i.e. for me, tenure!), DH and I can create the life we want in an exciting new environment. J

Hope to update you all with more adventures soon! Until then, stay warm and have a happy holiday!

What We Wear...

Clothes...

I was just on an online forum, and a discussion was going on about how women "should" dress. Naturally, a debate ensued! Are women solely responsible for how men see them? Must we dress a certain way to protect ourselves? Are men responsible for their gazes regardless of how we choose to clothe ourselves? A friend posted this article, http://becomingkindred.com/blog/2013/6/9/a-letter-to-the-designers-of-this-seasons-childs-bathing-suits, a letter from a mother of a five-year-old girl. She complains about how little girls' clothing sexualizes girls at a far-too-young age, and pleads with manufacturers and designers that all she wants in a child's bathing suit is for her daughter to be able to "play freely in the sand with joyous abandon this summer and I’d love to see her clothed in a way that allows her to do that."

Photo Credit: http://becomingkindred.com/blog/2013/6/9/a-letter-to-the-designers-of-this-seasons-childs-bathing-suits

This article sparked some intense conversation about how women SHOULD dress, and how accountable we, as women, are for how MEN not only perceive, but ACT around and toward us. Some responses talked about growing up, like me, in a conservative family. Others mentioned high school uniforms (please, don't remind me of the wonderful (*insert sarcasm here*) Britney Spears-esque "Baby One More Time" kilt we had to wear at my Catholic high school). The discussion inevitably went to sexual harassment and who is responsible--women for dressing provocatively, or men for their actions? (--> rhetorical question)

Learning How to Dress...

As young children, we don't think too much  about what we wear. As we get a bit older, we fight our moms about what THEY wants us to wear--"No, mom, not a dress!" or "I want to wear polka dots with plaid--why not??"

As one of six kids, when I was young, I wore lots of hand-me-downs. I remember always being excited to get a "new" bag of clothes from my mom's friend's daughter who was just a little older than me. She had good style. There was this pair of pink overall shorts. I loved them! I didn't think about how long or short they were. They were pretty, and they were pink. Another favourite was a pair of plaid, flannel Minney Mouse pants. They were purple and pink, and oh so comfortable! (Looking back, they might have been pajama bottoms, which would explain why my mom suggested I wear something else to school!) The point is, my earliest memories of clothes are about feeling pretty and comfortable.

Pink Overalls!Source: http://www.belk.com/products/oshkosh-baby-clothes.jsp

Clothing: Finding an Identity

As I got older, I started to buy my own clothes. I remember getting into fights with my mom--not usually over everyday clothing choices since I wore a uniform in high school, but over what I wore to church. Especially in the summer. I struggled with how a teenage girl was supposed to dress. I decided that as a woman (I had hit puberty, after all), I was obliged to make my body look good in whatever I wanted to wear, so I took extreme measures to fit into the clothes that were cool. I stopped eating so that I'd look good in short shorts, teeny tank tops that showed my midriff, miniskirts...you know the line up. Of course, my mom was appalled when I insisted that I could wear these to church! (Looking back, I do admit that my clothes weren't quite "church" appropriate!) 

Short, short shorts
Source: hawaiifashionfiend.com

I wasn't happy, but I figured it was worth it since I looked good! I became the way the mom who wrote the letter I've linked above feared. I was buying into adult standards for beauty when I was still pretty young. These standards pushed me to accept a very narrow definition of what it means to be a woman. About what it means to be beautiful. I threw many, many things in my life away, and I sacrificed a lot in order to conform to this standard of beauty.

In grade 11, I was stalked on my way home from school over a period of a few months. One day I found him waiting in front of my house. When the police came, they found him doing some disturbing things. I had to give a statement, and he was banned from going anywhere near my house or any school for a period of five years. Did my uniform CAUSE me to be followed by this lowlife? The point is, I had no choice about wearing this uniform, but my mom said "if you didn't wear your kilt SO SHORT..." Sure, I could have worn it a little longer (but, truly, it wasn't that short), but I doubt that would have made a difference or stopped the creep.

How we were supposed to wear the kilt (at least 3 cm above the knee):

My infamous high school kilt
Source: http://www.rjmccarthy.com/estore/eStore_2.aspx

How most of us actually wore it:

Source: http://a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/124/5b984110681343c28f7debed72ac735b/m.jpg

Adulthood: Questioning the Meaning of Clothing

After that incident, I always figured that I was entirely responsible for how I dressed. If I got negative attention from men, it was my fault for dressing so provocatively. As an adult, I've learned that the way I dress is only one side of the story. Men do have control over their reactions, and they can and will give women attention (whether it's sought or not)...regardless of how modestly we might dress.

There is one day, just before my wedding two years ago, that stands out so vividly in my mind. Looking back, it was a pretty ordinary afternoon, and a pretty ordinary experience. I was walking home from a friend`s house in London, Ontario (notorious for “Western Girls” at UWO who dress, let's just say, in their own 'unique' way). I am by no means making any judgment. They're young, they're enjoying life, they're finding their own identities and deciding what is 'beautiful'for them as young 17-20 something year olds. We all have to go through this search for our identities.

Source:  sebreg.deviantart.com

On this particular May afternoon, I was walking home from a friend's house along a main street. Within a five minute time span, no less than two cars had slowed down so that the guys inside could whistle and make cat calls. I was so puzzled. They were clearly directing this attention toward me. But why? I wasn't wearing short shorts or a mini skirt. I wasn't showing my legs or even my arms. I was wearing a loose-fitting dress that fell below my knees, and a cardigan over top. And just like that, at that moment, it began to make sense to me. While what we wear may be part of why guys respond a certain way to women, it is NOT--by any means--the only reason for their actions, cat calls, whistles, etc. If I had been wearing short shorts and a low-cut tank top, I guarantee I would have received the same reactions on that warm May afternoon.

A Cultural Context for Clothing
Living in Saudi Arabia has clarified even more about how the way women dress influences how men respond to women. I have been shocked at how men behave EVEN WHEN WOMEN ARE literally COVERED FROM HEAD TO TOE. One day, I decided to go for a nice evening walk when the weather wasn't too hot at a walking area here in Jeddah. My husband waited in the car and I was enjoying myself and the evening breeze. I was wearing my abaya (long black cloak that covers the whole body), a headscarf (according to local laws I have to cover. Fine. I knew that when I moved here and I cover willingly as a sign of respect for the culture). I was also COVERING MY FACE just to be sure I wasn't going to attract too much attention. (NB: I am the only white woman I've ever seen in my neighbourhood, and every other woman covers her face, so I wanted to blend in when I was alone outside.) After about 20 minutes, 2 cars had honked at me. Another had made a cat call. What??? ALL YOU COULD SEE WERE MY EYES!!!! After 30 minutes, a guy was walking right behind me, trying to chat me up. I was shocked. Was the design on my abaya too attractive? No! I had to stop thinking this way. It was suddenly clear that the cat calls and the chatting up were, at least in this context, not about me. It was about men.

Walking Area in Jeddah

Although we, of course, have to account for cultural norms, this experience has really clarified things for me. I think my analysis is relevant to Western culture, too. No matter what women choose to wear, there are womanizing guys. There are guys who will make cat calls. There are guys who have only one thing in mind when they see a woman. And what I wear--whether it's a bikini at the beach, or an abaya and niqab (face covering) on the street---does NOT change the guys who already think that way. Sure, there will always be some exceptions, and how women dress DOES have power--WE, ladies, have a lot of power over men-- but how women dress is NOT the be all and end all, NOR is it an excuse or justification for rape, abuse, or sexual harassment in any form. 

Integrating this Realization...
As I prepare for my move back to Canada (I fly out in less than a month on July 12th!), I'm mulling over all these ideas. I'm not sure how I'll be comfortable dressing now that I've been in a conservative country for two years. I'm not used to being around men. I work in an all-female environment and rarely come into contact with guys apart from drivers and, of course, DH.

I've learned that even though some men may be rude, others respect me. Despite the story I shared about my walk in Jeddah, I can honestly say that in other contexts, men here can be very respectful, polite, and dignified. In my apartment building, any time I come in and a man is waiting for the elevator, he moves away and lowers his gaze. I've always felt very comfortable in my building and most places that I go.

Ladies Only
Source: http://www.alarabiya.net/articles/2009/12/09/93705.html

Although I've mentioned that I really don't believe my clothes will strongly influence how men act around me, I'm still curious about how this observation will hold up in Toronto. Ladies, I don't know if you can relate, but every single time--without exception--that I've moved into a new place on my own in Canada, the cable / internet hook up guy has been appallingly unprofessional. When I was moving into my apartment in London, Ontario, the cable guy did his work and then proceeded to give me his number. When I had my internet installed in Toronto before that, the guy kept staring at me, and made excuses to stay longer than he had to. I asked DH yesterday if maybe covering my hair when the internet guy comes this summer would be a good idea. "Maybe," he replied, "but going into the kitchen and chopping vegetables with a big, loud knife might be more effective." LOL

The cable guy... a little too friendly?
Source: www.cablesonsale.ca

On a more serious note, after living in a conservative environment, I can't imagine wearing revealing clothes in public again, to be honest. I don't want to! They're not comfortable, and even if I might look good in them, I'm beginning to think differently about my body and how I show it. That's my choice, and I respect whatever choice you make about how you dress! My philosophy? To go back to my childhood dressing criteria: what makes me feel pretty and comfortable?!

At the end of the day, we have to teach men how to treat us. Our attitude, the way we carry ourselves, and, as part of this package, the way we dress, can be some of the many tools we use to convey this. And we must insist--over and over again--how we, dignified, self-respecting women, deserve to be treated. It is only then that, if we're lucky, men will step up to the challenge.

How we all deserve to be treated!
Source: guyism.com

Getting Around

What's a girl to do?

It's hard to believe that I've been in Saudi Arabia for nearly two years. For most of that time--partly because I was stubborn about my "right" to get around in OUR vehicle (meaning that DH had to drive me), and partly because of my nervousness about going out on my own--I have felt really trapped here. There is no public transportation system, so a woman can either rely on her husband to drive her, hire her own driver, or take taxis. My feeling trapped might sound really obvious when you learn that women aren't allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia, but I know many women who come and go here pretty much as they please. 

Jeddah: waiting to be explored!

I suppose seeing all these "free" women has to do mainly with the demographic of girls and women I generally interact with. Most of my colleagues at the college have been here for 10+ years, and either have their own drivers, or have a system in place to get around the city. My students, too, make it seem as though getting around is easy. I'd estimate that, the majority coming from wealthy, upper-class families, 90% of them have drivers and possibly their own cars. Getting to and from the college, restaurants, malls, friends houses etc, etc is accordingly easy for them.

Turning point...

For the past week and a half, our SUV has been at the mechanic. Accordingly, DH and I have been sharing a taxi to get to work and back each day. We usually do our groceries on Friday mornings (our "Sunday" mornings because the weekend in KSA is Thursday-Friday), but the past two weeks, we couldn't be bothered with getting a cab, especially in the 45+ C heat we're now constantly being immersed in when we step outside! We made do the first week with what was left in the kitchen cupboards...and then, last Sunday, I decided that after a little trip to the mall with some work friends, I'd pick up some groceries and come home. On. My. Own. No, not in MY own car, driving myself. I'm not THAT bold as to break the law!!! In a cab. BY myself. So, I set out to work for the morning to hold my office hour (I don't have classes on Sundays in the summer term), and then headed to the mall with two colleagues. (NB: Most malls here in Jeddah have a big chain grocery store). After buying some nail polish and sampling perfumes, I headed to Hyper Panda and raced through the aisles to grab the items on my list before the store closed for salat / prayer. (You may recall from previous posts that stores close 4 times a day for prayer). So, I ran around and managed to get everything, and successfully checked out.

 

A trip to "Hyper Panda" (grocery store) 

There are men who bag the groceries, and one accompanied me downstairs and I had him put the bags in the taxi. I told the cab driver, "Mafi Arabi" (no Arabic), but then proceeded with a feeble attempt to ask if he knows the landmark by my house. "Enta tarif Balubaid signal?" "Aywa," (yes) he replied. "Enta tarif Masjid Rukaia?" ("Do you know the Rukaia Mosque") I *confidently!!!* continued. "Aywa." YES!!! I could get home by myself. I knew enough Arabic to say "left" and "right" and "straight" to direct him the rest of the way. 

Getting Around
saudiwomendriving.blogspot.com

Success!

The final hurdle was managing to get all the groceries out of the trunk on my own in the 45 degree afternoon sun. But I managed and made it up the two flights of stairs to our apartment, beaming with pride. Mission accomplished!! I had successfully restocked our cupboards for the week. I tore off my abaya (which had, of course, made me all the hotter in the 12 o'clock noon sun!), and collapsed on the couch to cool off under the cranked A/C.

 

One of many masjids (mosques) by our house. Landmarks are VERY important in Jeddah because we generally don't have real addresses!

As ridiculously mundane as my story might sound to you, it was a BIG victory for me! If I had a driver, the whole ordeal above would have been much simpler, of course, but I'm here in Saudi Arabia to save money and pay off my HUGE student loan before I move back to Toronto in a month. (And, YES, I'm on the verge of accomplishing that goal, too!) No point in paying $700-800 a MONTH + accommodations for a driver when my goal is to spend as little money as possible. 

So, for a year and a half, I'd resigned to feeling stuck. Trapped. Resentful of my DH who could come and go as he pleased. (Though most men HATE driving on these crazy roads and insist that being able to drive isn't a freedom at all!). But last Sunday, I changed my mindset. I CAN DO THIS!!! And I feel like a whole new world has opened up for me here in Jeddah. 

Al-Andalus Mall, Jeddah
www.wikipedia.org

So why’d I wait?

I started this post with my excuses. I couldn’t get around Jeddah because I wanted DH to drive me. I contribute to the upkeep of the car, after all, so why should I be the one who had to take a cab? (Maybe I sound snobby, but that's how I felt). I was also a bit scared. We have all heard scary cab stories, and living in a foreign country I didn't want to take a risk--at least not until I felt more comfortable, especially with the language. I don’t know much Arabic, though I DO know how to get home and give directions to where I live. It’s funny, but many of my female friends are surprised when I can give clear directions to my house.

Map of Jeddah

Two weekends ago, I went out for brunch and a shopping date with my lovely British friend, S. She’s married to a Saudi man, and for the longest time he wasn’t comfortable (if I have the story straight?) with her taking cabs around the city. Recently, though, she has begun going out and taking taxis, and she sounded SO much happier. Sure, she agreed, sometimes she’d get a stinky cab, and the driver might be a little odd, but nothing bad had ever happened. A less than perfect cab now and then is worth it in exchange for the ability to get around!

For the longest time if DH couldn’t drive me, I’d been relying on part-time drivers that DH knows... And while that’s all nice and safe, it can be SO annoying to have the driver not be free to come and pick me up and take me home when I want to go. I once had to wait for FOUR HOURS for one to pick me up for a short little 15 minute trip from the mall to my house. So I ended up staying at home, feeling trapped, bitter, and resentful.

Shopping date at Stars Avenue Mall

DH was like S’s husband for the longest time, feeling that it wasn’t a good idea for me and my Canadian whiteness and lack of Arabic to go out alone in taxis. But when it became necessary (we need food, after all!!!), he figured it couldn’t hurt for me to be out and find my way home in broad daylight. And I was fine. And when she went, S was fine, too. In fact, she was kind of my inspiration to insist to DH that I should go out and find my own way, too! So thank you, S!! J

There’s such FREEDOM in knowing that you can have the liberty to come and go as you please...and to not have to wait for a driver who may never show up! Once I'm back in Canada, I will never take the ease and freedom of coming and going--even if I have to wait for a BUS--for granted again!!!

Freedom!
thegratefuldad.org

Oh, the irony...

When I think about it, it’s kind of ironic that a month before I’m moving back to Canada I’m finally feeling comfortable getting around Jeddah on my own. But c’est le vie, n’est pas?! At least now when I come back two or three times to visit DH over the next year and a half (in December, May / June, and possibly once more), I’ll be able to hit up the shops and catch up with friends while he’s at work. So in the end we all win! J 

One small step for me, one victory for all brave women in the desert! lol  

My Last Two Months in Saudi Arabia

News, news and more news...

I've been debating about how--or even whether--to write this post, but now that everything is official, I suppose that now is as good a time as any to share some bittersweet news. My sister suggested I entitle this post "after a long visit to Saudi Land, I'm coming back" but that doesn't quite fit my more serious tone (thanks for the suggestion, though, sis!).

Breaking News!!

(Source: http://myersmedia.co.uk/2013/news-who-cares/)

The first piece of news (that you've probably guessed by now) is that I'm moving back to Canada (Toronto, specifically) in a month and a half. This is bittersweet because DH is staying in Jeddah for another year, so it will be back to long distance love for us. I'll probably get to come back to visit him over the Christmas break...which means six months before I see him after I leave for Toronto in July. I'm obviously torn up about this, so why, you ask, have I decided to move back to Canada without him? Why don't I stay in Saudi with him?

A mosque in Jeddah

Why, why why?

Is it so unbearable in Saudi Arabia that I just HAVE to get out of here?? Is wearing an abaya and headscarf too stifling hot that I've decided to call it quits? Is it THAT terrible being a ‘suppressed’ and subjugated woman out here in the desert? Is not being able to drive making me mad? Well, the last point is probably 75% accurate, but the women I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, teaching and working with have shown me time and again that there’s no more oppression of women here than there is in many other parts of the world (at least among the women that I know. This, admittedly, is a somewhat selective demographic). As for the abaya, I've become very accustomed to the covering up in black part of life here, and, in fact, I quite enjoy the freedom of leaving the house without worrying what I'm wearing under my abaya (although this isn't the case when I'm going to work because, of course, in an all-female workplace, I take off my abaya and wear professional attire).

An abaya and hijab: not as hot as they look!(Source: http://abayasbyakhawat.com/muslim-dress-raso-black-satin-cuffed-butterfly-abaya-shayla)

So if it's not life here, then why am I up and leaving DH? Well, back in the fall, if you recall from here: http://pinkjeddahsunset.blogspot.com/2012/12/one-year-in-saudi.html, I was applying for my PhD in Canada. I applied to a number of schools and found out this past February that I was accepted everywhere, including at the University of Toronto, where I was absolutely positively sure I wouldn't be accepted (it has the BEST English Department in the country for my field, early modern drama). Accordingly, after MUCH deliberation, negotiation of funding packages, and stress about leaving my husband and amazing job here in Jeddah, I decided that I simply couldn't turn down a five year, fully funded PhD in English at the University of Toronto. I decided that it's now or never!

Back to Graduate School!

So I will be leaving DH in the hot sandy desert in early July to spend some time with my family before moving back to Toronto in August. I've found a great place to live (in my old apartment building in the vibrant Annex neighbourhood where I lived while doing my BA). The location is perfect--literally across the road from campus, and a 5 minute walk to the English Department building.

The Jackman Humanities Building (where the Department of English is housed).

(Source: http://www.flickriver.com/groups/universityoftoronto/pool/)

It's exciting to be going back to school, especially since being in Saudi Arabia has opened up a lot of doors for me in terms of helping me have a clearer focus for my dissertation. I'm thrilled that I have the opportunity to embark on a research project that energizes and inspires me. Living in Saudi Arabia has given me insight, knowledge, and personal experience about what it's like to be a woman in a place that is literally a different world. I have been fortunate to have met people from so many diverse walks of life, religious beliefs, life experiences, and ways of thinking, and this has definitely challenged and influenced the way I myself think! I'm looking forward to applying my unique intercultural experience to my work back in graduate school.

The University of Toronto

(Source: http://urbantoronto.ca/forum/showthread.php/6947-Miscellany-Toronto-Photographs-Then-and-Now/page246)

Goodbye's the Saddest Word

I'm quoting a Celine Dion song with this subtitle, I couldn't resist (video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I3TxyYDcSw), but, really, I can't stand goodbyes! I prefer "see you soon" and "talk to you on skype" to the more somber "goodbye." Of course, my family is happy I'm moving back to Canada, but I am so sad to be leaving DH and my wonderful, amazing colleagues and students at the college here in Jeddah. Really, teaching here has taught me so much, and though it's non-stop, busy and stressful at times (well, I shouldn't lie--most of the time!), I love it and am passionate about teaching at the post-secondary level. My colleagues have become close friends, and it saddens me to leave. So I'm instead saying "see you soon" because once I finish my PhD, DH and I would consider coming back to Saudi Arabia. Who knows, though, what the future will bring? It's full of exciting possibilities, though for now, we have to be apart and follow our own educational and career paths.

*******************************

Meeting the Parents!

On a completely unrelated note, a few weeks ago I finally--for the first time--got to meet DH's parents! They came to visit us from Bangladesh for three weeks. We were still working our hectic schedules during their visit, and since it was "term time" I was swamped with marking final papers and preparing final exams, but we made the most of their three weeks in Saudi Arabia. We met them at the airport a few Wednesdays ago after work (the equivalent of Friday night in the Western world since our weekends are Thursday and Friday). That evening they made the one hour drive to Makkah, and the next day we joined them there and stayed the night. They went for Umrah (a small pilgrimage) on Wednesday, and then we spent Thursday and Friday together. Since they weren't able to come to our wedding because it was in Canada, they gave me some beautiful bridal jewelry as a belated wedding gift. In addition, DH's two sisters gave me some beautiful Bangladeshi saris. I now need to find an Indian friend who is getting married so I can have occasion to wear these beautiful clothes!!!

Jeddah Airport Arrivals

The next weekend, we met DH's parents in Madinah, which is about 4 and a half hours north west of Jeddah. We hired a driver so that DH didn't have to handle that long drive all by himself (since I'm not allowed to drive here!) It was a long trip in the middle of the night, but well worth the drive! Madinah is the city where the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) died, and his grave is in what is known as "The Prophet's Mosque." Our time in Madinah was relaxing and breathtaking.

The Prophet's Mosque, Madinah, Saudi Arabia

Madinah, Saudi Arabia

Madinah, Saudi Arabia

A Mosque in Madinah

A Mosque in Madinah

Outside the Prophet's Mosque

After the weekend there, DH and I, along with his parents, came back to Jeddah. We had to work on Saturday (i.e. Monday), and his mom greeted us each evening with delicious home-cooked Bangladeshi food. Mmm! Chicken curries, rice (lots and lots of rice), and so many yummy treats! I wish I had time to cook such wonderful meals, but, alas, work is always beckoning.

Highway landscape between Madinah and Jeddah

The long drive back to Jeddah.

All in all, it was a wonderful visit, and I'm so glad that I finally got the chance to meet DH's wonderful parents. If it wasn't so expensive, we would love to plan a trip to Bangladesh ourselves to meet his whole family (he has two sisters and each has two children. Yep! I'm a proud aunt!)

Finishing Up the Semester

After DH's parents left, this past week was super busy with final exams, marking, and working on the tedious task of compiling course files for each course I taught this past term. Thankfully, I finished almost everything and got my exams and final grades in by the deadline.

This weekend is the calm before another storm; on Saturday, the summer semester begins and I`ll be teaching my final two courses before moving back to Canada in July. Most of my colleagues will be traveling after the next week or two, so it will be sad to part. The college will feel much emptier without all of them during my last semester here.

Speaking of my colleagues, they really are so wonderful. Last weekend, they threw me a surprise going-away lunch and gave me a heartfelt card and a beautiful Coach bag! I am so blessed to have met and worked with such wonderful, kind, generous ladies over the past two years. I will definitely stop in to visit them all when I`m here in December!!!

My new Coach bag--it even matches my BLOG!

Thank you, colleagues!!!

Until next time...

I suppose that`s all my news for now. As usual, I`ve taken awhile between posts, but I end up overcompensating with lengthy pieces! I guess that`s just my blogging style!

The next month will be filled, I`m sure, with lots of commotion at work, and with packing and preparing for my big move back to Canada. I was invited to one of my students`weddings that will take place in a couple of weeks, so if I make it out to that, I will definitely dedicate a post to my experience of a Saudi wedding!! If I go, I will have to get very dressed up (hair, make-up, ballgown)--probably even more than I did for my own wedding!!!

Anyways, hope that you, my dear readers, are all well...and if you`re one of my Toronto friends reading, SEE YOU SOON!!!!

Asalam alakium!

Julie xoxo

PS I hope you`ll consider voting in the POLL I've posted in the top right hand corner of the page! :)