Back to the Desert!

Goodbye Toronto...Hello London!

Good morning, my lovely readers! It's been some time since I posted and I thought I should pop in and say a little something before DH and I head back to the desert. It's been a wonderfully glorious summer in Toronto. I've caught up with friends and family; I've laughed, I've cried, and I've come out on top... ready to tackle another year in Saudi Arabia!

One of my favourite things about Toronto is the beautiful waterfront. I've enjoyed afternoon walks along the Woodbine Beach boardwalk, dipping my feet in the warm water, and soaking up the sunshine on my skin. There are stunning nature trails and paved pathways along Lake Ontario, and I've thoroughly enjoyed checking out new pathways and sights every day.

Here are some of my favourite photos from the Beaches:

Waves crashing up on the shore: Lake Ontario

The boardwalk at Woodbine Beach <3

I didn't surf, but it looked like lots of fun!

One of the "recreation trails" I explored. 

I got up to the family cottage only once...and, go figure, it was on a rainy day! But I took advantage of the time by catching up on some leisurely (!!) reading (yes, the leisurely part is shocking after all my time in grad school!), and having a great visit with my mom and dad. The last morning up north the rain stopped, and my dad and I were lucky to enjoy a canoe ride like old times. It's so peaceful on the water.

Off We Go...

I've spent the last week or so feeling a mixture of emotions: sad to leave Toronto, family, and friends, but excited for all the good things this year will bring. For those of you who know me well, I really don't enjoy change. I'm actually terrified of it. And somehow I ended up on this crazy, life-changing adventure! As challenging and crazy as life can be abroad, I don't regret my time in KSA for a second.

In anticipation of my return to Jeddah, I've decided to make a list of all the things I'm eagerly anticipating about this coming year abroad. So, without further ado...

My Top 10 List for 2012-2013

1. Our 2 day stopover in London, England

I've never been to England, and DH had a stopover there years ago and didn't get to see much. We've both been talking about taking a trip to London, and I wasn't sure it would happen. Then his university booked our flights back and gave us a 24 hour stopover in London! Needless to say, we're both pretty excited! I wonder if the Olympic rings will still be hanging from London Bridge...

London Bridge

2. Returning to Jeddah...WITH DH!!!

This is something that brings me a particularly noteworthy thrill: I already have my Saudi residency, and I'm not going to be sitting around waiting for an indefinite amount of time waiting for a visa (like my 75 day wait last fall). Yay! My husband and I, after so many months and years apart in the past, finally have a predictable future: together!!!

Back to Jeddah!

3. Going back to Work!

Another thing that I'm definitely not taking for granted is having a stable job, given the Canadian / US / European (heck, most of the world's) economic situation. To top it off, not only am I so blessed with a job, but I love, love, love my colleagues and where I work. I'm excited to return with all the energy, vigor, and passion in me!

Work!

4.  Unending Summer!

A big part of what's making returning to Jeddah easier is the progressively cooler weather Toronto hands us each day. DH and I have taken to having our morning coffee on the balcony and it's actually becoming almost too cold to sit out. If I wanted to stay in Toronto, it wouldn't be the same as the glorious summer we've just enjoyed anyways. So, off to Jeddah's sunshine and pleasant winter weather.

Al Hamra, Jeddah...in the winter!!!

5. Walking

I love to walk. I will walk for hours just taking in the scenery, people, breathing in the beautiful air... I do love Canadian falls. The air is so crisp, it's breezy, and it feels like a new beginning (I guess this part is usually associated with spring, but given that September marks the start of the academic year, it's always been a beginning for me!)

When I first moved to Jeddah, I anticipated not being able to walk outside. Why? First, it can get SO hot. Second, wearing an abaya, I wasn't the most graceful at first, and I didn't think a brisk walk would be ideal given that I'd probably trip. So the first item on my "to do" list when I moved there was to purchase a treadmill.

Okay, so in this photo walking looks quite glorified...I just don't have a photo of the "other" walking area I described lol I guess I could walk here, too, though. :)

Since living there for 7 months, however, I've realized that people DO walk outside. In fact, some men even run! DH and I found this "walking area" (sidewalks are, by the way, a bit of a novelty) on our way home from work. People walk briskly, jog, run, or even stroll along. Some people are out at noon (which, quite frankly, I don't know how it's possible when it's so hot!) but the busiest time is the evening and night time once it cools down a bit. I have yet to join the walking crowd out there, but this is something I'm looking forward to giving a try. It will beat staring at the wall while on my treadmill at home. Let's just see if I can handle the heat!

6. Sunshine

In Toronto, I love the summer. I love the fall. But I'm not a huge fan of the winter and early spring. I find it hard to keep motivated and positive when the days are so short and the sunshine isn't too prevalent. In Jeddah, we have sunshine all year round!!! This is definitely something I'm looking forward to as family and friends prepare for another Canadian winter!

Sunshine

7. Weekends!

I've been a student most of my life... No, ALL of my life, and something else I love is having weekends. Granted, many weekends I bring marking home, but there's a greater sense of freedom in having at least an entire day off! No worrying about upcoming proposals, papers, exams, seminars or readings. Just some leisurely marking, and time. Time to read. Time to work out. Time to cook. Time (and some money!) to go shopping...

And the topic of weekends leads me to #8:

8. Trips!

In Saudi, we're close to a lot of often unexplored (or unfrequented by most traveling westerners) cities and countries. Within Saudi itself there is lots to explore. A difficult country for which to get a visa, DH and I hope to explore more of KSA before we leave. Makkah, Taif, and maybe Riyadh are among some cities we hope to see.

Travel!

Living in Saudi Arabia also brings the advantage that we're closer to lots of other travel spots that, from Canada, are a long, tiring journey. The United Arab Emirates (UAE) -- I want to visit a friend in Dubai on Hajj break, inshallah -- Kuwait where a good friend and her husband are living and working (I went last March and hope to go again this year), and Jordan. Everyone raves about the historic sights and natural beauty there. Unfortunately, I doubt we'll be able to see all these places, but I'm excited to see where the coming year will lead us!

9. Makkah!

Makkah (or Mecca) is Islam's holiest city, the birthplace of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), and the home of the Kaaba (see photo below). DH and I took an overnight trip to Makkah before the summer and it was such an amazing experience. Only a 45 minute drive from Jeddah, we'll inshallah take monthly weekend getaways and stay in Makkah, relax, and pray.

The Kaaba in Makkah

10. Lifestyle

In Saudi Arabia, although I, as a woman, am not permitted to drive, the lifestyle is much more laid back. I work a lot, but it's possible to take time out to relax, unwind and enjoy a good quality of life. Food in Jeddah is cheap, gas is even cheaper, shopping is amazing, and I have some wonderful friends who I can't wait to see when I return in a few days (British "S" and Saudi / American "A" you know who you are!!)

This is some Indian food we had in TO; however, in Jeddah, you would pay a fraction of what we paid for this ($35), and get this (takeout) for probably $5.

Off I Go...
DH and I fly out of Toronto tonight, and can't wait for our time in London. Then, it's off to Jeddah where I have no doubt that it's going to be an amazing year. I can't wait to share my stories and experiences with you all...here on Pink Jeddah Sunset.

Salam alaikum...and see you all soon!

Ramadan Mubarak!

Ramadan begins...

Today marks the first day of this year's Ramadan (the Islamic month of prayer and fasting).... So, to everyone fasting and celebrating throughout this sacred month--wherever you are in the world--Ramadan Kareem!

Crescent moon: it's Ramadan!

Home sweet home!

DH and I made it safely to Toronto last week and we're both back up and at 'em, having overcome our jet lag pretty well now. The first week here I had a pretty yucky cold, but alhamdulillah I'm feeling much better now. Already, our time home has been full of fun times and busyness. My 16-year-old sister's come to Toronto a couple times from just east of the city to visit. Our condo is really close to a GO train (commuter train that goes from the suburbs to downtown Toronto) station, so she's able to hop on and then I can meet her easily. My second night here, we went to a concert for her belated birthday present (Train with lead singer Pat Monaghan). Train is her favourite band, and she managed to get backstage passes to MEET the band!!! She was more than ecstatic and I was happy to be a part of this kick off to summer fun!

Train performing at the Sony Center, Toronto

Living the life

I've been catching up with friends, eating too much sushi (but how can I not!?), and visiting out of town family. DH has been studying away to write the GMAT exam for admission to an MBA (master of business administration) program, so I've been free to run about here and there. We spend evenings together enjoying the amazing weather (we can actually enjoy the outdoors here unlike in nearly-uninhabitable summer Jeddah! lol), going for evening walks, and enjoying breakfasts and dinners on the balcony. It's just like a cottage retreat out back, although the condo (facing the other side) is right on the streetcar line.

A view from our balcony...so much green!

Looking for a foster home for Oreo... Anyone?

Being back in Canada is wonderful, but on the downside, when I visited my parents, my cat, Oreo, who I left here, is extremely angry with me! (Yes, I'm aware I sound like a cat lady, attributing these feelings and emotions to my little ball of fur, but I KNOW him, really I do!!) The first time he sniffed my hand, he ran away from me...but yesterday he finally let me pet him and he even purred a little. The current task, however, is to find him a new adoptive home for the next 10 months. Two of my brothers moved back in with my parents. They have a cat, too, and my dad said one is more than enough... So, any Toronto or GTA-based readers who want to foster Oreo for a few months while I'm away? Send me a message or comment on this entry if you're interested. :)

My handsome, well-behaved, playful Oreo!

One more year?

Speaking of the 10 month time frame...DH and I have reached a pretty sure decision about our time in KSA. He's been there for over three years now (where the time went I don't know!) and although I'm enjoying the experience and have learned so, so much, because of his MBA, we will inshallah be moving back to Toronto for at least two years (the program's duration) while he finishes the degree. I'm a little sad about the move, although we will still have a year back in Jeddah. I've made such amazing friends, and LOVE my work and colleagues. There's so much unknown back in Canada with the economy still being quite shaky, and jobs still difficult to come by. Nothing is for sure, but hopefully once DH completes his MBA we can return to Jeddah. Or, who knows, I'll go back to school for my PhD? I'd so love that!

Applying for an MBA...

With more money, we can live a much better life in KSA. Part of our decision to move is pretty simple: women can't drive. As I mentioned in a previous post (see here: http://pinkjeddahsunset.blogspot.ca/2012/06/thinking-about-moving-to-ksa-my.html), this was something I was completely aware of when I decided to move to Saudi, but a rule that neither DH or I realized would affect us with such gravity on a day to day basis. Since I can't get behind the wheel, and a full-time driver is quite expensive (especially when our goal is to SAVE money in Saudi!), it is really frustrating and trying to be immobilized. DH is an "indoor" kind of person who is happy to stay at home for probably a whole week (lol!!) without going out. I, on the other hand, go crazy after spending the better part of a full day in the house. On weekends, once I clean the house and get some cooking and laundry done, I'm itching to get out, visit friends, go shopping, or just do something--anything!!--that involves escaping the four walls of the apartment (well, to be fair, I guess we have more than four walls...but you get the picture). My dad jokes that DH and I are like my grandparents who have the same preferences: BonneMaman loves getting out and can't sit still, and Grandad loves sitting inside and reading the days away. Going out isn't his priority, just like my DH. My grandparents have been married for over 50 years, so of course these differences can work, but in KSA it's another story when I can't come and go easily on my own. That's been quite a source of frustration for us this past year, and it's something that we don't want to have to continue to face right now. 

One year anniversary!

The 22nd of July marks our one year wedding anniversary. Wow! Yes, family and friends who cautioned us, spending our very first year of marriage in foreign country--and Saudi Arabia at that!--has been quite challenging! I'm not complaining--I truly value the experience and look forward to our next year in Jeddah--but it's more than either of us thinks we're able to manage at the moment. With his school situation pointing us back to Toronto, too, it seems like the best move, for the time being, to return to Canada.

First year of marriage...

I can't help but think of how true this line is, though: "Make plans, and God laughs." So maybe we'll end up staying in Saudi. Or somewhere else. Only time will tell! For now, though, we're looking forward to the rest of the summer in Toronto, and to catching up with everyone here! :)

Thanks for reading...and Ramadan Mubarak to you all!!!

Ramadan Mubarak!

Off to Toronto!

I can't believe how fast the past month has flown by! DH and I decided to stay in Jeddah a bit longer and work the summer semester, so only now are we flying home. We leave this evening, and I thought I should pop in and say hello and give a little update!

Upon arriving in Toronto Tuesday afternoon, we'll be staying in a subletted condo in Toronto's beautiful, bright Beaches neighbourhood, and we're looking forward to enjoying the milder Toronto summer weather! It's been at least 40 degrees here in Jeddah each day, and on top of that it's super humid (I'm used to humidity in Toronto, but Jeddah's humid climate on top of the heat is something I've never experienced before!)

I just finished packing and now must go and clear out the fridge. I hear DH in the kitchen starting to tackle that mission. I'd better go lend him a hand.

I'll try to update my you on my latest adventures (including a little road trip to Makkah) once I'm over my jet lag. For now, happy summer, enjoy the sunshine, and keep smiling!!

Salam alaikum,

Julie :) 

Thinking About Moving to KSA? My Experience and Advice!

 Setting the Stage: What's KSA Really Like?

If you're a reader of my blog, you're either a friend, family member, or someone who was searching to learn about life in Saudi Arabia. Perhaps you're even considering moving here! I know that when I was thinking about coming, I went through a long and complicated decision-making process. It included reading a LOT of articles, travel guides, and --most importantly--blogs!! Blogs, I found, give the "real" on the ground experience of life in KSA. Rather than reading "educated" or "researched" speculations about the country and culture, blogs provide a more realistic perspective that show the good with the bad in a usually more balanced, less biased way than, say, an article about the "poor, oppressed women" in Saudi Arabia.

Do you think I'm oppressed? Think again!

Being here, I find answers and make discoveries about the "REAL" Saudi Arabia every single day. When I was deciding to come, I was scared, nervous, hesitant, and very unsure. Are women really really as oppressed as the Western media makes them out to be? How would it be to be a Christian woman here? What would it be like to cover when it's SO HOT out? (This is, after all, the desert!) What about not being able to drive? Being dependent on my "male guardian"? Not being able to leave the country without my husband's permission? Question after question. 

Moving to Saudi?

The Real Thing: Not What Anyone Told Me!

I was surprised that when I moved here I really didn't experience culture shock. I guess I was over-prepared! Additionally, the things that I thought would be a HUGE deal (for instance, covering) aren't even bothersome, while things that I didn't think I would mind are at times overwhelmingly aggravating (such as not being able to drive. Turns out it's a BIG deal, especially in a city like Jeddah where there is NO semblance of a transportation system. And I'm used to Toronto's amazing TTC / metro).

Advice: should I move?

I was inspired to post this entry when a woman who is part of a Yahoo group in which I'm a member (shout out to "Expats in Saudi Arabia"!) asked the following question:

I'll be moving to SA with my family in about one month. I'm feeling very rotten about not being able to leave unless my "sponsor" gets me an exit visa. Please tell me there is an easy way for me to get out of the country when I want to do so.

I'm 26 years old and single; both my parents got job offers in Riyadh, and since they're still paying for my education, I've got to tag along. I will be living in SA with a dependent visa under one of my parents. My plan is to finish my education, save some money teaching, and leave the first chance I get.

I need to assess whether I should go or not. If it's going to make me a depressed wreck then I have to make some decisions.

I'm U.S Citizen currently living in Malaysia. My parents are Muslim; father is Egyptian. My father already has the whole Arab culture thing going (wear the hijab, don't sit with men), which I've learned to deal with quite well through the years. But a whole country of it, I don't know.

I'd appreciate some input to help me make a decision on what to do.

What's Saudi really like?

Here's my reply.

I saw your question and thought I'd add in my two cents. I'm a Canadian female, 27 years old, and thought we might have similar experiences in KSA given our similar demographic. I live in Jeddah, however, and I'm sure that would make a difference in terms of my notes about daily life.

My husband moved to KSA a few years ago, and last fall I finally decided to join him. Here, even if a woman is on her own visa, she has to have her husband's (or guardian's / father's) permission to leave the country. That REALLY irked me at the beginning, too, and I read a number of stories about daughters / women being "trapped" in KSA because their husbands or fathers had denied them permission to leave. My mother, in particular, was big on warning me that my husband would "trap" me in KSA. She was sure she'd never see me again.

An American friend who lives here and is married to a Saudi gave me the best advice on this concern. She said that as long as you completely trust your husband (in your case your father...) then you shouldn't worry about this regulation. So, do you trust that your father would give you the freedom to come and go? It's not an issue at all to get an exit / re-rentry visa as others have pointed out; the issue is unfortunately our guardian's "permission."

The turning point in my decision to come was based on my friend's advice, which I took. I completely trust my husband, and he has signed for me to travel a couple of times now. It's no issue.

The Things I Wasn't Ready For...

The BIG issues (at least for me) are things I COMPLETELY overlooked and didn't think would matter when I was deciding whether or not to move here. That's to say the things that drive me crazy are the day to day frustrations and inconveniences of being a woman in this country. The biggest thing? I naively thought that not being allowed to drive wouldn't bother me. How wrong I was!! If you're at all like me and enjoy going out, shopping, having the ease of coming and going at your leisure (even to grab some groceries or have a quick coffee with a girlfriend), then this will definitely be an adjustment for you in Saudi. 

The frustration of not being able to drive...

Would you be living on a compound? Or in the city? We live in an apartment in the city, which gives us a nice cultural experience in Jeddah, but it means I don't have the shopping trips on the compound bus, or the collegiality with other women who'd live nearby on the compound. 

This fall we plan to get a driver once we come back from holidays. This was my biggest dissatisfaction so far, and if I could have got out on my own, been able to meet up with friends, and had a general freedom of movement that having a driver would bring, it would have made my first 6 months here a LOT easier. I don't know any Arabic, and my husband isn't comfortable with the idea of me taking cabs alone. There's nothing fun about waiting for an "approved driver" my husband knows for 4 hours in a mall the keeps closing for prayer when I just want to be back home!

The best advice I can give: get a driver!!!! 

Sooo....after all this detail (sorry it's so long lol) I'd say that if you'd be living in a compound, you'd live a pretty "normal" life and have a pool, gym, friends nearby, transportation... and it would probably be just fine. If you'd be living in the city, negotiate with your parents to get a driver. It would make life in Riyadh manageable. Definitely different and a BIG change, but it wouldn't be so bad if you had a way around. Trust me, even if the man in your life (father, husband, brother) says he'd LOVE to drive you around, after a month or so he'll stop enjoying the traffic jams, shopping waiting, and being your chauffeur. 

The Verdict is In!

Overall, Saudi is a unique experience that many Westerners never have. It's definitely something that will contribute to your personality!! I don't regret moving here, and most of the time I'm pretty happy :)

Good luck and all the best in making this big decision! Feel free to ask any other questions...and let me know what you decide!!

Back to You, my Readers...

So...what about you? Are you reading my blog as a way to help you make the decision about whether to move to KSA? Are there any questions you still have that I didn't address? 

from abaya...

to swimsuit!!

Wherever you are, and whatever your situation, have a fun and safe summer...and enjoy the heat!!! For my part, I'm looking forward to some "cool" Toronto weather (i.e. nothing over 30 degrees most of the time!) and some warm evenings. (Here in Jeddah we're lucky if it stays below 40 degrees in the day + humidity. At night, the temperature goes down to only about 25 or 27 degrees. Yikes!!)

DH and I will be flying into Toronto on July 10th. We're looking forward to enjoying a summer sublet in the city. I, for one, await the day I can soak up the sun sans abaya! 

Keep smiling,

Julie :)

Women Driving: The Debate Persists

Manal Al-Sharif: The Struggle for Women Driving Continues
"Susie's Big Adventure," one of the blogs of which I've been an avid follower since I was first researching life in Saudi Arabia, recently posted a link to a riveting video.

Manal Al-Sharif is a young Saudi woman, wife and mother. In June 2011, she got behind the wheel in Al-Kohbar, a city in KSA,and defied the ban on women driving. While she drove, a friend videotaped her, and she later posted her "defiant" actions on YouTube. Soon after, she was arrested and put in jail for a little over a week before finally being released on bail. Here's the video she posted on YouTube before her arrest:

Manal's campaign, "Women2Drive," called for women to get together and drive on June 17, 2011. On that day, over 100 women got behind the wheel. The struggle for women to drive in KSA continues, and earlier this week, Manal spoke at the "Oslo Freedom Forum" in Norway. Most notably, she discusses that

"The struggle is not about driving a car, the struggle is about being in the driver's seat of our destiny." 

How true; it goes so far beyond just driving, although driving is itself a very real issue as the above video makes clear. Here's the link to her 17 minute speech. It's a fascinating call to female empowerment in Saudi Arabia, and provides a really enlightening recent history of Saudi Arabia. I learned so much about why things are the way they are here (especially in regards to extremism, and the situation for women), and how things have evolved so rapidly (and largely positively) from the frightening mentality that began in the 1970s and 80s.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PXXNK-3zQ4&feature=player_embedded

The personal experience: frustrating!!!
Interestingly, just two weeks ago, a friend of mine who grew up here in Saudi posted on my facebook page that a mutual friend "saw a woman driving the other day I swear! I think some women here have [become really defiant] lol I'd be scared of the law!!" It just goes to show how strong the "social norm" here is: men belong behind the wheel--in all aspects of life. Women do not. Did you hear Mahal's words? Extremist thinking about gender segregation means that most not only do restaurants, banks, schools, etc here have separate entrances for men and women; this often extends to our homes! That's an interesting topic for another blog!! :)

In any case, don't get me started on why it's SO wrong that men are in control...especially on the roads. From personal experience, it's more frustrating than I expected that men can drive and women cannot. Firstly, the roads here are crazy. Nuts. Insane. At best, I have white knuckles when we're going anywhere. And my husband is a good driver! At worst, it's absolutely terrifying, and I'm often very anxious sitting in the passenger's seat.

When I was in Kuwait, my friend and I were in a cab going around a roundabout, and she said that driving in Kuwait City is scary. If that's the case, I can't find words enough to describe the effects of 100% testosterone governing Saudi roads. Not to mention that half of the population is under, what, 25 years of age? That puts mostly 6-25 year old guys behind the wheel.

The driving age is WHAT?!?!
That brings up another point. The above age range was NOT a typo! Walahi (meaning, "I swear," in Arabic), IT WASN'T!!!! Manal mentions this in the first video above. Little boys who can barely see over the steering wheel routinely drive here. Even in our building there's a kid who goes out most days in the family SUV. DH and I frequently witness his attempts to park the large vehicle.

Last week we were at IKEA and there was an older woman sitting in the passenger's seat of a giant SUV, and guess what? She was being driven by what looked like her 8 year old grandson. YES! A completely adept, evidently visually and mentally capable woman was taking the figurative back seat to her grandson! Who knows how this is allowed to happen!!

Wasta!! (It's high time I mentioned this one!)
Wasta, my husband says, is the reason for the above question. That's the Arabic word for "connection" or "favour." Basically, if a person in this country--or I think in the Arab world in general?--has a connection to a "higher-up" (a prince, someone who works for the government, or perhaps the traffic police in this case) then the law can't really touch him or his family. He'll get out of anything that might go wrong. So, a mother sending her 8 year old son to pick up some yogurt and tomatoes for her cooking is just fine, so long as her family has wasta!

Back again soon!
Anyways, it's a busy time with the university semester winding down (and my marking piling sky high!), but I realized it was high time for me to blog again. When I saw Susie's post and Manal's talk at the Oslo Freedom Forum, I just had to write something brief on the matter. (Here's the link to Susie's post by the way: http://susiesbigadventure.blogspot.com/2012/05/manal-al-sharif-oslo-freedom-forum-2012.html)

Your Turn!
What do YOU think? Does Manal have a point? Or are we all missing the "luxury" of being chauffered around by our drivers (if we're lucky; I'm not!), husbands, brothers, and 6 year old sons? Let me know what you think in the comments box below. :)

A trip to Kuwait and Social Change in KSA

March Break Travels

Hello my lovely readers! While family and friends in Toronto, Canada have been enjoying a mild spring with temperatures going up to the high 20s (Celsius), it's been consistently 30-35 degrees C here in Jeddah. DH and I had this past week off work and while he continues to study for his GMAT (business school entrance exam that he'll be writing on April 12th), I had the chance to visit some close friends in Kuwait City for 5 days. It was wonderful to get away, but, since Kuwait is MUCH more liberal than Saudi, it was also a bit of a culture shock! It was warm and sunny all week, and we enjoyed checking out a local souk (my first time going to one!), walking along the Persian Gulf (sans abayas and hijab!) and soaking up some sun.

Map of Kuwait

Fun Kuwaiti coasters!

Kuwaiti woman driving.

When I first exited the airport, I was taken aback by the sight of a woman driving past. Yes--she was driving herself!!! Although Kuwait is only a 1.5 hour flight from Jeddah, and is on the north east border of Saudi Arabia, it's a much more "open" country where women can drive, people can dress pretty much as they please, and there is religious freedom. It was nice to walk around in ordinary clothes, and enjoy a Friday night Bible study with friends.

Long walkway along the Persian Gulf. So beautiful! 

The Persian Gulf and Kuwait City skyline

Colourful trinkets at the souk

The beautiful corniche in Salmyia, Kuwait

I'm about to be published!

I'm also writing today with some exciting news! A friend of mine, Shakira Abubakar, founder of Continental Rescue Africa (http://continentalrescueafrica.com/) is compiling a book on youth and social change, and, after being intrigued by reading my blog, she asked me to write an article for it! Before the book is officially published, I'm pleased to give you a sneak peak at my piece. Here it is:

The voices of “soft, gentle women”:

Contemplating social change in Saudi Arabia

Should women be permitted to drive in Saudi Arabia? Last week, I was standing in front of my class and posed this controversial question. Controversial not to those of us from Western cultures, of course, but for young Arab women, this is a highly contested topic. Among the voices that resounded strongly and adamantly in favour of women getting behind the wheel in this ultra-conservative Islamic kingdom, a single voice was heard, quietly affirming her “no.” The week previous, this college class I teach had engaged in an in-class debate about women driving. 

Upon reaching an agreement on the debate topic—the well-to-do 18-25 year old women in my class from Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Turkey, Egypt, Syria, and other Arab countries had selected this topic themselves—nearly all the girls wanted to argue that women should drive. Those appointed to the counterargument were quite distressed, but managed to gather strong evidence (mostly from religious sources) for their case. Although there is no “law” against women taking the wheel, there are strong religious rulings, or fatwas, that oppose it. In June 2011, a woman was arrested in the capital city, Riyadh, for driving. The charge against her, one student demonstrated, was not for being a woman driving, but for “not having a license.” 

Knowing that many of my students did not argue in favour of what they truly thought on the issue, I began the next class with the above question, asking for personal opinions outside their appointed debate stances. Chaos ensued. “Of course women should drive!” the girls proclaimed with passion. In the background, a timid voice resisted the group. The class was shocked. “What?! Women shouldn’t be allowed to drive?” The poor girl who had gone against the crowd! I asked her to explain her feelings on this topic. “Well,” she began, repeating some of her words from the debate (it appeared that her arguments had, in fact, reflected her personal views), “women are soft and gentle. They shouldn’t drive. It’s dangerous. What if her car breaks down? How can she change a tire?” “True,” another piped in, “when we’re wearing our abayas and hijab, it would be difficult…” Now the class was rethinking its stance. No one changed her mind, but the conversation was intriguing. 

Women driving: a religious issue?

In a theocratic country where religion governs society—the Qur’an is the law here—there are voices of resistance. Resistance is complicated, however, by the millions of expatriates, mostly from neighbouring Arab countries, though many from the West, who want change. But Saudi Arabia is not their country—not our country—to transform. Many of the girls in my class, however, were born and raised here, and perhaps their sentiments and desire for change should be heard. In ways different from other countries in the “Arab Spring,” Saudi Arabia is extremely complex. It is influenced by a vast number of foreign nationals, by various extremes in thinking, by tradition, and by a tight, closed society that seems, on first sight, impenetrable to influences from the outside world.

Much of the younger generation before me in lecture each day, however, desperately wants change, freedom, and a voice. But what happens when their voices are dominated by those of more conservative women in the Kingdom (there are, indeed, many women who do not want to drive)? When they are overpowered by traditionalists in authority? No, women driving does not sound controversial to the Western ear, but here in Saudi Arabia, even the girls who argued in favour made careful note of the challenges and obstacles to this happening. They were all concerned for their safety. As modest, respectable Muslim women, every single one of them is taken aback when a man approaches her, makes an unwelcome advance, calls out to her when she is minding her own business, abaya on, hijab tightly wrapped around her head, not a strand of hair showing. No, they do not consider themselves all that conservative, but they do demand respect. Respect, but not submission. Respect, but not disempowerment. Respect, but most definitely not lack of freedom.

Just a dream...?

The challenge here, then, is how the girls—and others in Saudi Arabia—can attain the freedom they seek without sacrificing their deep desire for respect. In a country where, despite the strong tradition that governs every aspect of society, and where things are changing on a daily basis, women driving remains a complex issue, one that is marked by unique challenges, questions, and opposition. We can only watch, and wait to see what will happen when this generation of Saudi women has the chance to make their voices heard.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Julie is a Canadian currently living and working in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. She is interested in making changes and speaking to youth about global poverty, women’s rights, and social action. After completing her master’s degree in English with a special interest in women’s issues, she followed an opportunity to teach—and learn extensively from—Saudi and Arab female university students. When she is not teaching, she enjoys relaxing with a good book, or publishing her cultural observations about Saudi Arabia on her blog, Pink Jeddah Sunset. You can find her at: www.pinkjeddahsunset.blogspot.com.

Your turn to share YOUR thoughts!
So...what do YOU think, readers? Does Saudi Arabia sound like a place so unique and "dangerous" for women that they / we shouldn't be allowed to driver here? Or would it be better for women to challenge this rule, and take their chances against the crazy men on the roads, and risk having to change a tire in our abayas?

Comment below! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this complex topic.

Here comes the sun: summer, women's education, and social change

Warm, lovely sunshine!
As you can see from a recent weather update (below), the temperature is really starting to heat up here in Jeddah! I can still vividly recall getting off the plane at King Abdulaziz International Airport and stepping onto the tarmac back in December. It was about 2am and the air was hot, humid and sticky--a big change from the winter I'd left back in Toronto, Canada! Turns out that that night at about 18 degrees celcius was nothing compared to the heat coming our way!

Summer is approaching!

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the heat, and summer is definitely one of my favourite seasons; however, it can be frustrating with all the lovely, beautiful sunshine and little chance to actually feel it on my skin!!! I used to love lying on the beach, or on the dock at our family cottage soaking up the sunshine. Here, it's sunny every single day (woo hoo!!!) but the downside is that, because every time I'm out I'm wearing an abaya covering nearly every inch of my skin, I'm whiter than I think I have EVER been!!!

Enjoying a patio by the Red Sea

Summer: a time for frozen yogurt!

In any case, I'm taking this with a positive attitude like Sheryl Crow says in "Soak up the Sun" (video below): "It's not having what you want / It's wanting what you've got." I think that's the most productive attitude for anyone who is living in a new country for the first time. It's been my philosophy while I get used to life in Jeddah and it's been working wonders!

TGI...W?
In Canada we used to say "TGIF" (Thank Goodness it's Friday), but here in Saudi Arabia, weekends here are Thursday and Friday (Friday is the Islamic holy day). Since it's the weekend, DH and I spent the afternoon running errands. He was kind enough to drive for an extra 20 or so minutes--in the direction of the sun--so that I could get some sunshine on my arms (I was a rebel and rolled up the arms of my abaya haha). SO AMAZING!!!
We have a break coming up at the end of March, and I'm hoping to get out up to Obhur (a resort town 45 minutes north of Jeddah) and soak up the sun for real on one of the private beaches :) There, there's no dress code (because the beaches are "private") so I could wear even a bikini if I felt so inclined.

A new weekend!

Getting to know the locals...

What's so far been most fascinating about my time here is all I've been learning from new friends, from experiences around the city, and  from people I've met in my line of work. I've had the opportunity to get to know many young women, many of whom are either Saudi citizens, or were born and have grown up here. All are young Arab women, and it's been intriguing getting to know them, their stories, and their experiences of a country that most of us in the West truly know so little about.

Here are some "notables" I've picked up from various sources.

(1) Friends:
S introduced me to a couple of her friends, and they're both fun, intelligent women. One is British and married to a Saudi, and the other, A, is Saudi, with an American mother and Saudi father (here, the child always takes, without exception, the father's nationality. If a Saudi woman married an American, for instance, their children would not be Saudi). So "A" and I were being dropped home by S's driver one evening and started talking about grocery shopping here in Jeddah. I mentioned that it feels weird to me that when the grocery guy and DH are bagging the food, they look at me funny when I attempt to help. Same goes for unloading the groceries into the trunk of the car. In Canada, I'm used to doing ALL my own groceries, carrying them home (even heavy bins of cat litter!), and unpacking them myself. Here, when I try to do the same, people look at me like I'm an alien (which I guess I kind of am here! lol) A couple weeks ago I took a driver to the grocery store, and when I went to check out, the bag guy wouldn't even let me put the groceries on the belt myself! Now, when DH and I make our weekly purchases, I head over to the nearby Body Shop and peruse their new items, rather than stand there merely watching the guys do all the work!

Before you stop and interject--but you're giving into the culture of male superiority--or, you're a Canadian woman; don't you think you're equally capable??--stop and hear me out! First, I'm living in a different culture. Yes, it's Saudi Arabia, but let's set our pre (mis) conceptions aside and imagine for a minute that this is any other country. Ladies, in Canada (or anywhere, for that matter), aren't you flattered when a guy still has the courtesy to hold the door for you? When he lets you on the escalator before he jumps on? When he (your boyfriend or guy friend, not a stranger; that'd be odd!) offers to hold your bag / purse when you look at things in the shops? In the West, many of us see this as good manners, gentle-manliness and RESPECT! (Of course, some of you academics might argue that this plays into the culture of male superiority...but I, for one, appreciate these gestures when I'm at home).

Independent...but carrying a heavy load!

SO...A and I are in the car getting dropped to our respective homes. At this moment, I'm still frustrated with the "it's not proper for a lady to help with the groceries" situation, and am explaining this to her. She replies with this: my family is pretty liberal for a Saudi family. My dad spent a many years in the States, and my mom is American. Growing up, my dad used to let me help with the groceries, but my husband insists on doing this work himself. I ask, Aren't you insulted at not being treated as an equal, as someone capable of helping? A responds, Not really. My husband says "women are delicate flowers who we should treat tenderly and with respect," so when I see it that way, it's easier for me to sit and be pampered. Hmm, I thought, there's a point. Are women in the West treated this way? With respect, with gentleness? Here in Saudi Arabia, the idea is that a man should go out of his way to care for his wife, to pamper her, and not to insist she does any heavy lifting (both literally and figuratively). While of course, in some families this is mixed in with the idea that a wife is to be a "housewife" who looks after the kids, cooks, cleans, and does everything in the home, it seems to me that--at least among the more educated--this idea is quickly evolving.

Female retail workers
The rapidity of this social "change" became quickly apparent to me as soon as I arrived in Jeddah. Indeed, on our first trip to the grocery store not long after I landed, I was pleasantly surprised at the number of female grocery cashiers at the checkout. Maybe 1/3 of the cashiers at Danube (our store) are female. Moreover, it's now the law (as of last month) that ONLY women can be employed in lingerie shops. (Previous to this, women had to awkwardly purchase their intimate apparel from men! Yes, another of many paradoxes in this complex kingdom!)

Saudi female cashier

Women in universities
Since Saudi Arabia struck "gold" (oil) fairly recently in the 1970s, it is still a "developing nation." It's an inherently tribal nation, and it seems that the value (and availability) of higher education is a fairly recent phenomenon, too. This is particularly the case for women's education. Female colleges and universities continue to spring up, and I've had the chance to get to know some students at one in particular.

Educated Saudi women

Here, the female students are in their late teens and early twenties--typical college / university age back home. When I first met these students, I wasn't sure what to expect. What would be appropriate to discuss with them? Were "social issues" including divorce, poverty, obesity, alcoholism (yes, it does exist here despite the law forbidding alcohol), domestic violence, and women driving (it is, if you don't know, illegal here) up for discussion?

Saudi women studying

It turns out that when given the opportunity they had a lot--A LOT!--to say! Divorce, domestic violence, and women driving were hot topics. Divorce, for one, is legal here, and though it's Islamically discouraged, it is permissible. The girls pointed out that after a divorce, many women here face poverty, lack of social and financial support, and isolation. While for men there is no "stigma" against being a divorcee, for a woman in Saudi Arabia, it makes her "unmarriable" to many potential suitors. The majority of women still do not work, and so a divorced woman has little means of supporting herself and her children. On another note, the apparent pervasiveness of domestic violence in Saudi Arabia is, of course, is a hot topic among Westerners. I asked the girls whether it is really the issue "we" make it out to be. Is violence against women (in particular) as ubiquitous as we might be inclined to believe? One girl suggested, yes, probably 75% of families experience violence in the home. BUT the others soon convinced her that, yes, it happens, but NOT more than in other parts of the world. Maybe in 20% of homes, another suggested. The rest agreed this was a reasonable number.

Realistically, can we know how common such acts are? Even in Canada, I have no idea what the "real" number of cases of domestic violence might be. I'd guess that 20% is a LOW estimate. The difference, it seems, is how Canada deals with women who need social support (the government has established women's shelters, the welfare system, social services, etc) and how Saudi Arabia intervenes with women in similar situations. There seems to be very, very little "official" support for victims of family violence here. Although with our Western biases we might be quick to suppose this indicates that women are inferior, and that the government does not prioritize their welfare, it is also quite likely that this is the nature of a developing country. There ARE non-government organizations here, groups of kind-hearted volunteers who help widows, single mothers, and the poor.

Domestic violence: not just in Saudi

In the bigger picture, look at the very context of the discussion I've recorded above. There are the words of Arab women in a post-secondary classroom! They are being educated, many have work experience, and they are not all 18 year olds who have been "married off to old men" as the Western media likes to make the situation here sound. In reality, a couple girls might be married--by choice, just as many young Western girls are--but the majority plan to educate themselves and become career women. They are studying law, graphic and interior design, business, history, fashion, political science, and everything else women in the West have the opportunity to study.

Indeed, the Saudi King's Scholarship Fund is not limited to boys / men who want to study abroad. It's based on academic merit, and many of the girls I've met want to study in England, the States or Canada. And--brace yourself for the shock!--their government will provide them with the means for doing so.

The King's Scholarship Program

Conclusions...
Maybe women in Saudi Arabia don't have what we in the West would see as fully "equal" status as men. In many ways they have more than equality: they have real, genuine respect! Furthermore, in context, women here have opportunities, choices, and chances at creating their futures. Yes, social issues exist, but is there a place in the world that is free from violence and challenges? In a developing country such as this, it is only natural that the evolution of the education system, the workforce, and social systems will take time. I have seen with my own eyes the ways in which, alongside these changes, women's roles are also rapidly evolving. And I have no doubt that the future will only bring more evidence of this progression.

Until next time...enjoy some glimpses of Jeddah, chez moi!

By the Jeddah Corniche...King Fahd Fountain in the distance

The mall at prayer time.

Jeddah has everything we have at home...and more!

As you might imagine, ice cream is VERY popular in a hot climate like Saudi.

Gas...cheaper than WATER!
We can completely fill our SUV (70L) for about $12CDN here...pennies!!!

A decorative entrance to an apartment building.
I love the doors here! Everything is so ornate!