Summer Holidays (aka Studying for Exams) in Jeddah!

Back in the sunshine (with lots of reading in tow)...

I can’t believe that four whole months have passed by since I was last in Jeddah. Since my visit in December, I returned to Toronto, finished all my PhD coursework (generally working 12 hours a day and temporarily nearly blinding my poor, exhausted eyes in the process—that’s what I get to taking two Victorian Literature classes among others in one term!), and started studying for my comprehensive exams which take place at the end of the summer. I’ll accordingly be spending my summer reading literally #allthebooks (a favourite hashtag on Instagram and Facebook these days!). My exams are in two parts: from the Old English Beowulf to the end of the Renaissance period (1660), and then from the Restoration (referring to the restoration of King Charles II to the English throne after the English Civil War) to the present time.

Compreshensive Exams #readALLthebooks!

That’s a whole lot of reading (and a lot of books to lug in my weight-restricted luggage back to Saudi!), but now that I’m over my jet lag and knee deep in it, it’s bringing back nice childhood memories. I remember how, every summer, my parents used to try to get me outside of my bedroom at the cottage, but I’d refuse, perfectly content to remain snuggled up in bed all day with a good book—or, really, an entire series of books, because, really, one book is never enough!

Starting with the Old English Beowulf

Now that I’m an adult, I seem to have made a career of reading and academia, and, for those who know me well—especially my parents who now see that there indeed IS a purpose to my staying indoors reading, reading, reading—it is not surprising!

Jeddah: Home Sweet Home

I’m now back in Jeddah for two months. I arrived on May 2^nd, and will stay until the end of June, which is great, because it was a longggg four months without DH, though we both made excellent productive use of our time apart with our intensive studies! It’s taken some adjustment being back here and getting used to having someone other than Oreo, my dear feline friend, around, but it’s a nice change of pace to have DH come home from work at the end of the day and keep me company. I also finally have a reason to cook! Living alone, it’s hard to justify spending time slaving away at the stove, especially with my hectic school schedule, but having him with me gives me an incentive to tap into my culinary creativity!

My usual company: Oreo and his Sheep friend!

Finally signs of spring in Toronto (April 2014)

An Afternoon by the Red Sea

Today, the end of my second weekend back in Jeddah, DH had to go into work in the afternoon while I got in some study time. Once he got home, we decided to head out to the Red Sea for a nice walk along the Corniche. Of course it felt like 40 degrees Celsius outside, but I’m so very happy to be back in the HEAT, and rather enjoyed basking in the sun (well, I suppose “basking” is a bit of a figurative description since I didn’t show any skin—I even covered my face because so many people were staring at this white western girl walking quickly along…with niqab, I blend in a bit more!), but you get the idea! NO MORE WINTER!!!! It was a long and horrible Toronto winter, and the frigid weather was probably the most difficult adjustments since my move back from Saudi, but I survived.

We walked along the beautiful pathways alongside the Red Sea, pictured here:

Middle Corniche, Al Hamra, Jeddah

Corniche Walkway, Jeddah

...And then took a water / hydration break on some benches in the shade before heading over to Sushi Yoshi for some delicious sushi for dinner! Yum! We had a nice view of the King Fahd Fountain from the restaurant, and enjoyed the time out.

Sushi Yoshi!

Overall, it’s wonderful being back in Jeddah, and it really feels like I never left. Home is where the heart is, and mine is most definitely here!

PS: Readers, if you have anything you'd like me to blog about, or any questions about  Saudi / Jeddah, leave a comment below and I'll happily indulge you in my next post inshallah! :)

Beautiful Jeddah Sunset this Evening

The King Fahd Fountain, Jeddah

Ahh, warm, sunny Jeddah!

Home Sweet Home: Jeddah!

Jeddah So Far!
Although it’s dreadful being away from DH for months at a time, it is nice to have a warm place to come for vacations! J I’ve been back in Jeddah for a week now, and it’s been a really nice visit so far. Jeddah still feels like home—wherever DH is home is! I was so happy to see him at the airport, but, of course, since it’s Saudi Arabia, a hello hug and kiss had to wait until we were home!

Toronto Snowstorm: December 14th, 2013

Toronto's Weather before I left. Brrr!!!!!!

When I flew out of Toronto, a big storm was brewing, and my flight escaped in the nick of time! I hope all my friends and family at home are staying safe—the power has been out in Toronto and the GTA for over a day in some places, and many people are being advised to stay indoors because of dangerous, icy road conditions. I hope for all of you that the weather improves and, for those without power, you get heat and electricity back as soon as possible!

Toronto Ice Storm
Source: 680news.com

Toronto Ice Storm
Source: 680news.com

(Okay, now I feel bad for pointing this out...) In contrast to the Toronto ice storm (see here: http://www.680news.com/2013/12/23/toronto-power-outages-may-extend-past-christmas-ceo/), the weather in Jeddah has been lovely—around 28-30 degrees and humid, and the evenings are nice and warm. That said, I still do wish I could walk outside, but it’s not really a “normal” thing to do here for the most part. The majority of people drive wherever they’re going—even if it’s only a 2 minute walk away!

Jeddah sunrise on my drive home from the airport 

My Welcome Home Gift from DH!

When I first moved to Jeddah in 2011, one evening I decided to venture out on my own (one of those lovely newlywed arguments compelled me to defiantly leave the house on my own in the evening lol), and needless to say—even with my face covered—I got a lot of stares and honks. Sigh!

Old City Gate

Beautiful Jeddah Sunset!

That said, the malls are a good alternative for a place to go walking, although there’s always the drawback of being tempted to spend too much money when all I want to do is go for a walk!!! A new mall opened not far from our house. It’s called Al-Salaam Mall, and, now that the majority of stores are open, it’s one of the largest in Jeddah. It even has my favourite Canadian store, Dynamite, which recently came to Saudi Arabia. Now I can buy my favourite brand TAX FREE!! Woo hoo!

Last evening, DH had to work late (until 10pm), and he dropped me off at the mall so I could get out and shop! He wasn’t sure that I’d be able to fill so many hours shopping, but in this new mall, I barely made it through half of one of three floors!! Inshallah I’ll go back soon!

Dynamite is Finally in Jeddah!

Al-Salaam Mall Jeddah

Dynamite (2) 

Camels!
Perhaps the most exciting thing I finally got to experience since I arrived last week is getting to meet my first camel friends! Before moving here, I told DH that I MUST get to see some camels, and though we’ve seen some from a far distance on highway drives, until last week, I had yet to see any up close.

DH and I were driving along a road in our neighbourhood the other day, and low and behold, there were two small camels in the back of someone’s pick up truck! DH got out of the car and asked the camel guy if we could pet them and take some photos, and he agreed. Here are some photos:

Camels in Jeddah!

We think that the man may be selling the camels, because why would they randomly be in the city? Also, we’ve driven by twice since then and both times saw different camels. I hope they’re not food!!!

Road Trip!

This past weekend, we took a road trip to Mecca. We stayed in a hotel in the famous Clock Tower, and relaxed (i.e. I slept too much as I was still adjusting to the 8 hour time change!) I got to check out some shops, and bought my sister a cool scarf from the souk part of the shopping area. There were lots of great deals, as well as overpriced abayas and other things to lure tourists in, I guess!

Beautiful fountain in Mecca

The Famous Clock Tower 

Masjd al Haram

Another view of the fountain

Leaving Mecca...

Since Umrah (pilgrimage) visas are open to just GCC (Gulf Cooperation Council) nations until, I think, January, Mecca was a lot quieter than usual. We’re hoping to go back once more before I leave.

Catching Up!

I’m also excited that I’ve been catching up with friends after 5 months away. I’m especially thrilled to go back to the university where I used to work to see some past students and colleagues. That place still feels like home to me, and I am looking forward to seeing everyone again! J

Sometimes I get really nostalgic for life here—as hectic and fast paced as it was, and as much as I would get so frustrated with little things – or not so little – like, as a woman, not being allowed to drive, not getting out for walks outdoors, and the insanely long hours I worked at two jobs for most of last year. Alhamdulillah, though, it was worth it for the amazing people I met here, and I would definitely consider moving back here or somewhere in the Middle East after I finish my PhD.

The job market in Canada and the US – at least in academia and for tenure-track positions—is so depressing to think about, and it excites me to know there are lots of other countries that appreciate my education and would gladly hire me with a great salary at the end of my 5 years of my doctorate degree. All the blood, sweat and tears I'm putting in now don't have to be in vain! Only time will tell what will happen, though, and there’s always a (small) chance I will get a tenure track job closer to home (I’ll try, Mom!).

A friend (thanks, B.M.!) posted this (above) on Facebook this morning, and it really struck me: “You must go on adventures to find out where you belong.” Moving to Saudi Arabia has opened a whole new world for me, and I appreciate all the lessons I’ve learned –and often challenging experiences I’ve had—over the past couple of years. I now know so much more about the world beyond the suburb where I grew up, and Toronto, the city where I’ve spent years living. 

I’ve always been quite open-minded, and moving abroad has made me even more so. Most of all, living here has helped me to see the literally endless possibilities for the future! Even if we don’t find our perfect jobs in Canada (i.e. for me, tenure!), DH and I can create the life we want in an exciting new environment. J

Hope to update you all with more adventures soon! Until then, stay warm and have a happy holiday!

Cultural Lessons: Modesty, Speech, and Values

"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty...And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms..." Quran 24:30, 31 http://www.islamicity.com/mosque/w_islam/veil.htm 

Adapting to Saudi Culture

I knew that in coming to Saudi Arabia I would have to adapt to many cultural differences. Not only do I clearly stand out because I am a white Westerner, but I stand out because I am a woman. In Canada—even in multicultural Toronto, where, as my friend pointed out she and I, as white women, are minorities every time we step onto the TTC (Toronto's transit system)—I blend comfortably into the crowd of multicultural faces and bodies; here in Saudi Arabia, however, I stand out. Yes, there is multiculturalism in the cosmopolitan city of Jeddah. But, I'm learning, cultural behaviours, actions and dress are highly influenced by where you are (or live) in the city!

Trips to some Malls!

For instance, last week, DH and I went to the other side of town to Rawdah District where I met up with a friend on Christmas Eve. On our way home, we stopped at a mall to run some errands, and there I was shocked to see women walking around without their heads covered, abayas slung casually over their shoulders not buttoned up, and nonchalantly walking around almost as though they were back home. 

Alandalus Mall, Jeddah

Compare this to a typical trip to our local Alandalus Mall. There, it's rare to see anything more than a woman's eyes. Women wear their abayas properly (i.e. buttoned up), cover their heads, and wear niqab (face cover--see photo below). Some women don’t even show their eyes, opting to instead wear a thin veil over their entire face! DH tells me—and it's not difficult to see—that we live in a very "Saudi" neighbourhood, literally among the locals. Women in Al Naseem District are outwardly conservative in their dress, and do as the above passage instructs: they "guard their modesty" and do not put their bodies on display.

Saudi women shopping

Where do I fit in?

I find myself, a white Canadian woman, in the midst a bit of an identity crisis. How am I supposed to dress? Act? Express myself when out in public? In the busy, multicultural Rawdah District, I'd feel more than comfortable to leave my hair uncovered, and speak up for myself, and walk with my head held high. In my neighbourhood, though, I feel as though I should be more guarded. Not because I'm afraid, but because I'm trying to be attuned to what would be most respectful to the locals. Though a resident of Saudi Arabia, I am, after all, a visitor.

At times, though, remaining constantly respectful is difficult! I'm used to speaking up for myself, having a voice, and making sure I'm heard. Not in an aggressive way, but just in a way that demonstrates I'm equal, I'm here, I'm heard. I'm not a militant feminist by any stretch of the imagination, but I do believe women are—and should be!—equal to their male counterparts. 

I struggle to find the ways in which this society allows women the equality I have set out to explore. Saudi Arabia, in the western media, is notorious for "mistreating" women, and subjugating them as "second class citizens." Although I sometimes struggle to see female equality in the culture, I am not convinced that it's nonexistent. I'm determined to see past my personal struggle, cultural adjustments and challenges, and to find the ways in which Saudi / Arab women, or women who are living, as myself, as residents in this country, are independent, assertive, and strong social forces.

Discovering spaces of equality

I have two experiences I'd like to share that relate to expressions of female identity and voice in Saudi Arabia. I'll start with my first "outing" in Jeddah. The morning after I arrived and was finally able to sleep a few hours after my long journey, DH took me to the university medical clinic for my medical tests I needed for my residency card, or "iqama." I put on my abaya, covered my hair, and got into the car. Once we arrived at the clinic, I followed DH in, and was surprised that nothing inside was segregated! I was expecting separate family / singles entrances, waiting areas, and line ups. Okay, I thought, I'll just follow DH's lead here. He checked me in at the female counter (check-in, at least, seemed to be separate), and they sent us to a doctor down the hall. He filled out a requisition for some blood tests, and pointed us toward a waiting area. There, we got a number, and went to sit down. On our way to the seating, DH said something funny and I laughed aloud. A couple of men in thobes and gutras (the traditional Saudi dress for men) stared at me. DH whispered, "women don't laugh loudly in public." "Are you serious??" So, some experiential knowledge of the culture I definitely didn't read about! (And trust me, I've done tons or reading over the past 2.5 years that DH has been here). 

Waiting room

We then sat down quietly. I was, at this point, a bit unsure about how I was supposed to be acting in this non-segregated waiting area and started to cry (wondering whether it is acceptable for women to cry in public)! DH was kind and comforted me during my first small bout of culture shock. Other women were sitting with their husbands, and no one seemed to be talking or doing much else than staring at the numbers on the screen waiting for their turn for blood work. We might attribute this either to the culture (of female silence in public?) or simply the fact that we were in a medical center and people are generally a bit more subdued in such an environment, even in Canada.

On second thought, maybe in Canada we shouldn’t laugh loudly in a medical center anyways. Think of the poor person waiting to be tested for thyroid disease, or some kind of frightening, life-changing ailment.

Beyond the silence…Under the abaya

It wouldn’t be fair if I left you with only the negative image of me crying in the university medical center waiting room feeling silenced by the culture. As promised, I will now share a second scenario where I met and spoke with a young Saudi Arabian woman during my 8 hour stopover in Abu Dhabi.

When I disembarked from my long 12 hour flight from Toronto at the Abu Dhabi airport, my first stop was the washroom. There’s nothing like a real washroom after being on an airplane for so long! I’d decided in advance that it would be a good idea for me to don my abaya upon landing. DH wasn’t sure how I’d find it waiting alone in the UAE for such a long time and I figured it would be best to draw as little attention to myself as possible.

Abu Dhabi Airport

I was standing at the washroom mirror fixing my makeup and hair when a woman walked in in her niqab (face covering) and abaya. She proceeded to also freshen up, and changed into a black Saudi abaya. I figured there was a good chance she was also headed to Jeddah. I smiled at her and she said hello. I asked her if she just got off the flight from Toronto and she said yes, her husband is studying in Canada and she’s been in Waterloo with him for about 6 months now. They were on their way back home to Riyadh (the capital of Saudi Arabia) for winter break. As we spoke, she skillfully wrapped her hijab and niqab and I thought I might ask her for some help with my own scarf. I am seriously troubled at making mine look good and stay on. It either stays on and looks terrible, or looks good for about 10 minutes and then slides off my head!

She was kind enough to help me out, and we spoke a little bit more before exchanging numbers and heading our separate ways. This might sound a little bit silly to those of you who live (have lived) in Saudi, but for me, this was my first time speaking to a "real" Saudi woman. Outside in public, local women might seem unapproachable, guarded, and silent, but among other women it seems that things are the same here.

Freshening up...

For instance, my building is usually pretty quiet, and it was an entire week before I even saw another woman in the hallway. When a man other than my husband enters the apartment, it's custom (read: properly befitting a woman) to stay in the background and not be seen. Especially since in a woman's own home she's "uncovered" (not wearing her abaya!) The other day the satellite guy came to do the installation, and I was stuck in the back part of our apartment for a couple of hours. Interestingly, even the apartments are constructed in such a way that the "family" area is in the back, and the "guest" area (washroom and sitting room / living room) are in the front right near the entrance. Reminds me of Rensissance English homes: the woman is always in the most "protected" space inside, far from the eyes of prying male strangers, never near the windows. 

That said, imagine my surprise the other day when I heard women laughing loudly from down the hall. Lots and lots of women laughing, making celebratory noises and carrying on. Ends up there was a wedding or bachelorette party of sorts, and the women were gathered together. So, my lesson: in public, be quiet and look away from strange unrelated men. In private, be loud, noisy and carry on as usual in Canada. Well...kind of! 

Tentative conclusions…

Ultimately, I think my meeting with the lovely Saudi woman I discussed earlier, coupled with my own experiences I’ve described above, merit some interesting analysis. Women are to act one way when in public—especially in relation to the opposite sex—but in private, I don’t know that North American and Saudi cultures are all that different.

Here, the family is the bedrock of society. All it takes is a short drive through any area of Jeddah to realize that this culture is centered around the family, its comfort, its enjoyment, and preservation. The relative silence or quietness of women in public, I might safely conclude, is connected to the preservation of the family. Going back to my opening passage, both women and men are, in the Quran, called to “lower their gaze and guard their modesty.” Indeed, I am surprised at how respectful men are in this part of the world. Yes, people stare at me because I’m clearly not a local, but there are no cat calls, no rude or suggestive gestures, and not once has a man attempted to make direct eye contact with me.

Family picnics and fun along Jeddah Corniche

Sure, there are stories about Saudi men in Canada the western world running after white women and trying to deceive them, but when in Rome… So far, my experience in Jeddah has been at times challenging, but more than anything, it’s been enlightening. Cultural barriers are breaking down, and I’m seeing that there are many, many things that the west might learn from a culture that embraces life, family, and faith.